Dancing with Daffodils

I teach piano lessons to a few friends and neighbor kids and have recently started teaching my own kids. Lily has been taking for about a year now but her progress is slow because I am both her mom and her teacher. I don't have a set lesson time for her so we fit it in when we can, which means it can sometimes be three weeks before another lesson. I find it difficult to teach her and we've had some serious downs with very few ups lately when it comes to helping her practice and give her lessons. A few weeks ago we had a particularly bad argument that resulted in her crying and me ready to walk out the door. I told my husband I was done and that if she wanted to take piano we were going to have to find someone else to teach her. He was so calm and went on to tell me how important it is to him that our kids play the piano so he said he would take over as the practice parent, allowing me to just be her teacher.  I fell in love with him again during that conversation because he u...

Today I was able to attend a special meeting at church for all the women. In it we discussed our responsibilities regarding a program in our church called visiting teaching. I love this program and know it is inspired by God. It is called visiting teaching because we visit one another and teach the gospel to each other on a one-by-one basis, just as the Savior did. Each woman over 18 is assigned a companion and then two or three or four other ladies in our congregation to visit on a monthly basis. This is not always an easy responsibility. Some of these ladies we're asked to visit are not very welcoming, active in our church or open to gospel discussion. We're all mothers and wives and busy with life. Or we're shy or we're scared or we're hampered down by any number of other challenges. We discussed those difficulties today in an effort to figure out what is holding us back from doing a better job of fulfilling this assignment. I kept my mouth shut most of the t...

I have been remiss. I went on vacation and was having too much fun with my family to stop and write about them.  So I'm going to finish out the posts I had planned even though November is over. While on vacation I got to spend a good amount of time with my sister, KayLee. She and I are a lot alike and we have fun together. Other than one challenging year, KayLee and I have pretty much always gotten along. Especially since I've been an adult, she has been a good listener and very understanding. She has a way of making me feel like she really cares about me and what is happening in my life. A few years ago we were on a family trip and she and I were out floating on rafts in the ocean and talking. I had found out I was pregnant just that week and having miscarried previously, was planning to wait until after my first doctor appointment to announce. But being out there that day I found myself wanting to tell her and we ended up having a good discussion about baby names. No one el...

Today I'm grateful for my baby boy. He was such a welcome surprise. I went to the doctor to start on the medication that helps me get pregnant and I was on it for a week but it wasn't making me feel very good. I'd never had that problem before so I took a pregnancy test just to rule it out and turns out I was already pregnant. I really wanted a boy to balance out our family and so that Curtis would have a brother and I was so thrilled when we found out Brandon was coming. It took Josh and I months to agree on a name but we finally did just weeks before our sweet and huge baby boy joined our family. My pregnancy was challenging with him because I was on number four and that much more tired and worn out. My body started rebelling and the last few months I could hardly move at all. I was so uncomfortable and miserable and when he was a week overdue, I was going crazy. Thankfully I went into labor at about 1am and by the time we got to the hospital the contractions were so se...

I'm feeling grateful for a lot of people tonight, plus I'm running out of days in the month but not people so this is going to be a bit of a mix up but I hope you'll stay with me. 1. Erika our real estate agent. This may sound funny but I've been thinking a lot about her. Last year at this time we were figuring out financing, closing dates, packing up our old house and stressing about moving a mile up the road. It was wonderfully awful. Erika was amazing and I was so grateful to be able to count on her and she was so kind and steady and took care of everything she could so that I didn't have anything extra to stress over. She is an honest and good person and it was simply a pleasure to make her acquaintance as well as work with her. Although I must add that I hope our paths don't cross again for professional reasons ever again. 2. Amy is one of the first people we met when we moved here. She allowed my husband to stay in her house for ten days since he had t...

My first memory of Nikki is at her tenth birthday party and I remember that I felt really special having been invited to attend such a family event with Josh. Nikki was a sweet and quiet girl and it was fun to be around her. We took her miniature golfing, I took her to an amusement park and introduced her to new foods, we even had a sleepover once after Josh had left on his mission. With four older sisters, it was a nice change for me to be the older one for once and especially with Nikki because we have a lot in common. At the time we both danced at the same studio and we share a love of dance. We also both love to read and often talk about books. As she has grown into an adult it has been fun to watch her mature and become more of a peer than a little sister and I'm so grateful for her in my life. The week before I got married I was hosting three of my closest friends from out of state and we went on some fun adventures and we had Nikki come with us. I was so grateful that she w...

I'm grateful for Curtis for many reasons. First off, he just showed up into this world. After years of fertility treatments to get our first, I thought it would be a challenge every single time. So imagine my shock when I was feeling kind of funny and thought I would take a test just for kicks only to see it positive for the first time out of close to fifty tests. He was our miracle baby and even though it was a real challenge to have two little ones so close together, as they've grown older, it has been a wonderful blessing. Curtis loves to work with his dad and do outside projects and build stuff and fix things. One Saturday afternoon two years or three years ago I was watching kids for a friend and so our house was pretty full and busy. My husband was supposed to go help a different friend move and so I suggested he take Curtis just to alleviate some of the crazy. Turns out that he loves helping people move. As little as he was he held the door open and carried pillows and...

Today I'm grateful for my crazy friend, Sarah. She is my shorty friend and I have to say that it is really fun to tease her about her short problems. Last year on her Christmas wish list was a step stool so she could reach things in the kitchen better. I'm laughing right now because I still find this hilarious and laughing is one of my favorite things to do at, I mean with Sarah. She and I moved here about the same time but it took a year or so to get to know each other and as we spent lots of time together, I realized just how awesome she is. Although if I had just asked her, she would have told me. She is silly and funny and yet very easy to talk to about anything. She is a good listener and non-judgmental and loves to tease me back. It is easy to be myself around her during the good, the bad and even sometimes the ugly. She has seen some of my worst parenting moments and supported me through them as well as be happy with me when my kids do something amazing. She loves them...

My sister Debbie has loved me since I was born. She is 11 years older and has a thing for babies so when my mom brought me home, Debbie was ready to have me move into her room. I suppose she learned quickly that it would be difficult at age 11 to actually take care of the baby but I love that story about our beginning. She was the first one of my sisters to get married and I was 11 at the time and totally devastated. I liked her fiance and had in fact told him that he should get married (he was my primary teacher at church) so he decided to ask out my sister who was home from college for the summer. But I still didn't like the idea of her not being a full-fledged member of our family anymore. She'd have her own house and do her own vacations and that was tough for me and you can see me crying and hugging her in her wedding video. Perhaps because of that, Debbie and her husband, Glen, made great effort to include me in their life and it was wonderful to have them live just 15 ...

It has been almost 19 years to the day since a nice kid from my English class asked me out on a date. I never could have imagined the life we have together now. I am grateful for him every day. My very favorite thing about him is how good he is at listening. He can sit and actively listen to whatever I need or want to say and then he will either empathize and tell me how much he loves me or help me work though the situation. Usually just saying it out loud is enough for me to be able to let go and move on and I appreciate that he has never criticized my feelings or made me feel dumb or cut me off. It is an incredible gift and what connected us right away. Even after our first date we talked on the phone for almost an hour and that led to hundreds of more hours spent on the phone. When we were living in different states and even different countries, we still talked on the phone just about every day and often for lengthy periods of time. My day would feel incomplete if I hadn't told ...

Today I'm grateful for my parents. My earliest memories are of my dad coming home from work for lunch when I was just three or four. As soon as I heard him I would hide and call out for him to come and find me. I loved sitting on his lap and having him read me books like Make Way for Ducklings and Happy Jack. I loved helping my mom cook or bake and it was always fun to go shopping with her. They are loving, selfless and created a home environment that allowed us each to become our best selves. For four years, it was just the three of us at home while all my sisters were off married or at college.  It was kind of a lot to have their undivided attention but they allowed me a great deal of freedom. My dad always says that by the time they got to me they had learned how to teach me to make my own decisions and they trusted me to make good ones. I couldn't get my ears pierced until I was 15 but other than that, they didn't make any strict rules. The only thing we consistently ...

I met Michelle on Sept 5, 2001, the day I entered the Missionary Training Center (MTC). We were put together as companions for the nine weeks that we would be there. That meant we were together all of the time, and I mean all of it because companionship as a missionary is safety. We ate together, shared a room, were in all the same classes and all of the same meetings. We helped each other learn Ukrainian, although she had a head start because she already knew Russian. She is an adventurous yet particular California girl who loves to be pampered and eat good food and I had never met anyone like her before but instantly we clicked. We had lots of amazing experiences while in the MTC that included being an Oreo for Halloween. We were actually in a threesome so Michelle and I wore black while our other wonderful companion, Marja, wore white and we passed out Oreos to everyone we met that day. We also watched a church movie about the pioneers every Sunday evening called Legacy and after ...

I just spent two straight days with this little burst of energy and I'm taking this opportunity to feel some gratitude instead of the exhaustion I want to feel. Emma was the happiest baby I've ever seen. She was always smiling and was so fun to be around, even as a little baby. She continues to be so excitable and joyful, but that energy comes with a bit of a price. She can also turn dramatically stubborn or sad in a second, though she is generally as quick to recover. Emma is the first one of my kids to say thank you for something and she is very loving. While we were in Philadelphia yesterday, we visited the Congress House. Our tour guide was asking about John Adams (why he expected a three-year-old to know anything about John Adams is still a mystery) but he was trying to help her come up with the name so he said John..... and Emma filled in with "John the Baptist"  in her very enthusiastic little voice. It was pretty adorable and I suppose that if my kids don...

Gordon B. Hinckley was the President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints from 1995 until  he died in January of 2008. This was a very important part of my life and when I made almost every major decision of my life. I loved him dearly and had some very sacred experiences that confirmed to me that he was truly a prophet of God, called to serve like Moses of old in leading and teaching the Lord's covenant people. I served a mission for my church in Kiev, Ukraine from 2001-2003. At that point the church had only been in Ukraine for 20 years and I spent a lot of time working with the members in Kiev especially, training, teaching and helping them be ready for a temple to be built in their city, as well as trying to teach others the gospel message. In the fall of 2002, President Hinckley came to speak to the members of the church in Ukraine. He spoke at a beautiful building called the Palace of Ukraine to thousands of people, some who had traveled for days on a train, t...

I missed yesterday's post because I was too busy having fun with my friend, Leisa. She moved to my area about three and a half years ago and I instantly liked her and her husband. They are a fun couple and we just clicked. Leisa is easy to talk to and we are emotionally very similar so we get each other. While she lived here we spent a lot of time together serving the young women of our church congregation. We met together monthly to discuss the needs of the girls and to plan and to make improvements to the program. We also saw each other every Wednesday at the weekly youth activities and every Sunday for class with just the teenage girls and us. Then there were the youth volleyball tournaments, dances, training meetings and a host of various other activities that brought us together. It was a busy and fun time, especially when you add in that we both had a baby in those two years.  Sometimes serving with people is a challenge as you merge leadership styles or work with different ...

Today is my friend Jana's birthday so it seems an appropriate day to be grateful for her. Jana and I met when she moved into the other half of our duplex about five years ago. I immediately liked her and knew that we could be friends. She is a calm, down-to-earth person and easy to talk to about anything. She is active in her faith and church so she can understands our very church-God-centered life, because she lives it herself even though our religions are different. She is supportive and kind and always offering to help me. She shows up when it is important and isn't uncomfortable socializing with my friends from church, which means a lot to me. She is wonderful at putting her friends above her own personal comfort and it has been a blessing in my life. When we got back from Christmas break a few years ago, one morning she sent her girls off to the bus stop but didn't come out herself because she thought she had the flu. The next day her husband told us she had been dia...

All I ever wanted to be when I grew up was a mother. I also liked writing and seemed to be okay at it so I decided one day I would be a writer too, but that wasn't nearly as important to me as becoming a mother. I knew because of a metabolic condition I have that it would be difficult to become pregnant and it was. After three years of medicine and shots and doctor appointments and a miscarriage and hospitalization, we finally had the joyous experience of bringing a child into this world and we named her Lillian. From the very beginning she was such a delight. She was easy going, slept a lot, hardly cried, loved to be cuddled and made everyone around her happy. As she has grown up, she has developed a fun sense of humor and is still very loving to those around her. Lily is intrinsically motivated to do well and likes to make her teachers happy. She is a good reader who devours books. She loves ballet, swimming, drawing and watching movies. She won't wear anything with a butto...

I can't even quite remember how Michelle and I became friends because it was a slow and steady process. We moved to Maryland about the same time and saw each other regularly at church and social events. Over time and through many shared experiences, especially the joys and challenges of motherhood, she is now one of my closest friends. We have two kids that are born within weeks of each other and our now 8-year-old daughters have been friends since they were one.  She watched my oldest while I was in the hospital having number two kid and we've done many kid swaps. In fact, she's probably spent more time than any other friend watching my children for me. That is one of the things I love most about Michelle and a trait of hers I have tried to emulate. She is so willing to help out and offers with a generous and open heart. My children love being in her home and used to cry when I would go to pick them up and I always feel at ease with my kids are with her.  Michelle ...

I first met Mary when I was 17 years old and after our second date, Josh brought me to his house and introduced me to his parents. I started coming over more often and we would regularly play euchre with his parents or I would play Skip-Bo with his mom and younger sister. I called her Mrs. D back then and thought she was a very nice lady. She always welcomed me into their home and she made delicious cookies and it was easy to talk to her. I'm not quite sure what she thought of me back in those days and our story is a bit complicated but when Josh decided to get baptized, that changed everything. It meant we could get married and that I was around for good. I know she wasn't thrilled with Josh's decision, being a faithful Catholic, but she was kind and supportive and able to recognize how much happier he was once he got baptized. She probably didn't want him to leave for two years and serve a mission for the church, but she took the time to go meet with Josh's bish...

I served a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Kiev, Ukraine from September 2001-March 2002. For the first nine weeks of the mission, I was in the training center learning to speak Ukrainian and how to be a missionary. I landed in Kiev on November 9 and that's when I met President Frank Trythall and his amazing wife, Nancy. They were in charge of all of the missionaries in western Ukraine so from November until they went home in June, they were the ones looking out for me and making sure I was safe and well while in Kiev. I met regularly with President Trythall for interviews where he would ask how I was doing and work with me through my challenges and answer any questions I had for him. I also wrote him weekly letters so that he could know what was going on with me and my companion. I've written before about some of our experiences but I hope you'll indulge me to write them again quickly here. The first major teaching moment we had together was...

Erin and I have been friends since I can remember. We lived about five minutes away from each other and attended the same school and same church. She will tell you that on the first day of kindergarten I helped her make the letter W so that she could go play and that's when she decided to be my friend. It's lucky we got along so well because we did just about everything together. We played on the same volleyball team, we were in the same class at church so we did all of our weekly Wednesday night activities together as well as attend the same Sunday class, we went to seminary together, we babysat together, we went to church dances together, we camped together every summer and we saw each other all of the time in school. She has been involved somehow in just about every part of my life so I don't think there is anyone outside of family who knows me as well as she does. Erin is loud and her laugh is infectious. She is so out-going and friendly and can talk to anyone. I ap...

I can't believe it but it is November again. Last November I wrote a blog post every day to help me remember and recognize the many blessings in my life and to renew my gratitude for those experiences. I've decided to take up that challenge again, but with a twist. This year each post will be about a specific person and either an experience I've had with them for which I am grateful or why I am grateful for this person in my life (and in no particular order). So here goes! I have four older sisters and the one closest in age to me is Cindy. She is five years older than I am and I'd say our younger years were characterized by her ignoring me and therefore me trying to get her attention by being annoying. My favorite move was stealing the book in her hand and running as fast as I could. Unfortunately, that usually ending in her pummeling me and then getting in trouble with my parents which only then made her mad at me but hey, at least she acknowledged my existence for...

I'm starting to wonder if I'm as socially awkward as I feel. For years I have felt that I was pretty good at faking it until making it but now I'm starting to feel uncovered. Remember that I hosted a neighborhood potluck and lots of people came? I thought that once we had a chance to sit down and talk and break the ice, my neighbors would be friendlier to me. Ironically, the only one who is being nicer and more talkative with me is the one neighbor who didn't come to the potluck. It got even more awkward at the bus stop because I'm thinking that we're all friends now but no, there are still four ladies who stand in a little square every day and hardly talk to anyone else. There is no breaking in, just me standing uncomfortably near their square hoping that they will say something to me. It is way too awkward to just bust into their little square and they make no effort to include me or even be friendly and say good morning. So, I've stopped going to the bus ...

The last of my four happiness goals was a physical goal to exercise every day for a week. I definitely put this one off. I am not happy with my body right now and feel very frustrated with two things in particular, one which I feel I have control over and one which I don't so instead of wallowing like I usually do, it was time to focus on what I could do to be more healthy. I have only ever exercised in order to lose weight but tried to shift my focus to exercising to be healthy and feel good, whether I lose weight or not. I enjoy volleyball and swimming and bike riding and try to take walks with the kids regularly but nothing is consistent enough or easy to do with kids and my schedule so this goal was really one of prioritization and an effort to not be lazy or make excuses.  I was moderately successful. Monday I went for a walk while pushing my two kids in the stroller, Tuesday I did my elliptical machine, and Wednesday I did laps at the pool. Thursday and Friday were both ve...

After a busy birthday week, it was time to get back on track with my happiness. I decided since school was starting that it was a good time to meet my neighbors and work on my social goal. On Monday I decided to write out a simple invitation to a potluck dinner to be held in our yard on Saturday evening. I printed these off at about 5pm on Monday afternoon but was too chicken to go around and deliver them because I might run into the people coming home from work and have to talk to them. Kind of the idea, I know, but so awkward. I decided to do the sensible thing and wait until the next morning when hopefully everyone would be gone and I could just tape the invitation to their doors. Which I did. Actually, my kids did it. I stood in the road while they ran up to the doors and taped the invitation onto it. I had them knock on the doors of the few neighbors we do actually know and we said hi and told them about the potluck so I knew that at least three families were coming, but we invi...

My precious first baby turned eight today. I remember her birth so well with all of the newness of if written on my heart and body. I woke up at 5am to go to the bathroom and felt a little gush so I called the doctor and she said to come in. I took a shower and got to the hospital at 6am. I remember when they finished breaking my water for me and what a strange sensation that was, and how relaxed I was because I had an epidural. I was so numb though that even my fingers were tingling and it completely freaked me out so I had them dial the medicine down. My husband was reading the Reader's Digest to me but I was so tired and struggled to stay awake and listen (even though later I found out he was trying to help me go to sleep). Because I was so numb, it was really hard to push and it took about 2 hours before the doctor threatened to suction my baby out. A quick two pushes later, she was out at 2:04 p.m. on a beautiful summer Sunday afternoon, She needed some immediate attention...