Visiting Teaching
Today I was able to attend a special meeting at church for all the women. In it we discussed our responsibilities regarding a program in our church called visiting teaching. I love this program and know it is inspired by God. It is called visiting teaching because we visit one another and teach the gospel to each other on a one-by-one basis, just as the Savior did. Each woman over 18 is assigned a companion and then two or three or four other ladies in our congregation to visit on a monthly basis.
This is not always an easy responsibility. Some of these ladies we're asked to visit are not very welcoming, active in our church or open to gospel discussion. We're all mothers and wives and busy with life. Or we're shy or we're scared or we're hampered down by any number of other challenges. We discussed those difficulties today in an effort to figure out what is holding us back from doing a better job of fulfilling this assignment.
I kept my mouth shut most of the time but my head was spinning and I think it comes down to a very simple problem. When we are not doing our best in this very sacred and important responsibility, I think the overarching problem is a lack of understanding and testimony. Now none of us fulfill our visiting teaching assignment perfectly and we all ebb and flow through life's challenges and seasons, but when we don't do it at all or make very little effort, it seems to me that we just don't really get it. To me visiting teaching to me is all about love and being consistent in that love. It is a call to get to know and love these sisters in our ward as the Savior would if he were here to do it himself. It is ministering, listening, helping, being a friend, filling needs, sharing testimony and strengthening faith. It's knowing that someone cares about you and has your back. When you have that focus, the other stumbling blocks disappear. Suddenly you have time or make time because a dear friend needs you or you miss them if you don't talk regularly. The assignment becomes a joy as you establish a relationship, which I know from experience is not always easy to do. Even if you don't have time to visit you can make a phone call or send a letter or email or make sure to say hello to them at church. You drop off cookies or take flowers or let the sister know that you are thinking of her in whatever way you can because you love the Savior, you love that sister in the gospel and you fight any selfishness or time issues or discomfort because of that love.
A lot of women feel guilty when they're not being as diligent as they could be and my dear friend, Michelle, who was leading the discussion, was clear that we are not to judge one another on our efforts. I totally agree. Everyone is at a different stage in life and testimony and ability to handle the roadblocks that keep them from doing their visiting teaching. It is up to each individual to ponder how she can do better and follow that inspiration. Guilt can I suppose be a good thing if it motivates us to repent and change but that shouldn't come because we're afraid of what others are thinking, it should come from God who is pricking our heart to help us recognize we can do better. My heart was just bursting today because I feel so strongly about this sacred duty and I would want to encourage and lift others in their desires to be better and do better, but today's meeting wasn't really the time or place so I'm offering it here.
I have two main motivations for making this a priority in my life. First, I know how much I would appreciate having that kind of person in my life. For most of my adult life I haven't had visiting teachers who actually came to see me on a regular basis and sometimes that has been hurtful. But I can't control them or their actions; I can only control mine. So I strive to be the visiting teacher I wish I always had. I try to be a good listener and regular in my visits or contact, I try to be sincere and trustworthy. I try to step up when really needed and to be someone they can count on. I'm certainly not perfect and it can be a real challenge sometimes to drag my little kids to someone else's house or try to carry on a meaningful conversation when I am tired or missing time with my husband. But I do it because I know that someday I am going to stand before Jesus Christ and I don't want him to say, "You were asked to visit Sarah and she was really struggling and you weren't there". I wouldn't want him to be disappointed in me. Nothing I could spend my time doing would be worth suffering through his disappointment.
I have received so many blessings from visiting teaching and first is the wonderful relationships I have developed with women I might not have had a chance to really know otherwise. Kathy just turned 70 and when I met her seven years ago, she wasn't attending church very often so I only knew her from our monthly visits. She deals with health challenges and has a large family with many difficult situations and here I was pregnant with my second baby. We couldn't have been in more different stages of life. Yet through regular visits and talking and sharing and learning to love each other, she has become a very dear friend. She loves me like a daughter and I'm grateful for how she grandparents my children. We've shared some sacred experiences together and she is a blessing in my life. Noreen is in her 50s and we had hardly talked before I was assigned to be her visiting teacher. Now two years later she is practically part of my family. My children all love her and she joins us regularly for family home evening on Monday nights because no one in her family is a member of our church. She is the most optimistic and positive woman even when serious difficulty is all around her. Her faith has been a blessing to me. Melissa challenged me to see if I was coming out of duty or because I really cared about her and even after she stopped attending church altogether, we still keep in touch because she at some point realized I was sincere. It was hard though because she often blew me off and that hurt my feelings, but through prayer and the support of my husband, I was always able to put that aside and keep trying and I'm grateful that she and I are still friends today. Katherine suffers from serious back problems and was often home bound. She is a fantastic lady with so much talent and I never would have gotten to know her if I hadn't taken the time to go visit her.
I love visiting teaching. Not because it is easy or convenient or even fun but because it is a chance to participate in the work of the Lord. It is an opportunity to show him that I love him and that I will follow his commandment to love my neighbor as myself. It gives me a chance to establish relationships with women who help me and teach me and allow me to serve them. It increases the Savior's love in my life and strengthens my faith in him. It challenges me to get over my shyness or awkward sociality and look outside of my own problems and life to be a light to someone else. Not that I am always successful but I'm grateful to be able to try.
This is not always an easy responsibility. Some of these ladies we're asked to visit are not very welcoming, active in our church or open to gospel discussion. We're all mothers and wives and busy with life. Or we're shy or we're scared or we're hampered down by any number of other challenges. We discussed those difficulties today in an effort to figure out what is holding us back from doing a better job of fulfilling this assignment.
I kept my mouth shut most of the time but my head was spinning and I think it comes down to a very simple problem. When we are not doing our best in this very sacred and important responsibility, I think the overarching problem is a lack of understanding and testimony. Now none of us fulfill our visiting teaching assignment perfectly and we all ebb and flow through life's challenges and seasons, but when we don't do it at all or make very little effort, it seems to me that we just don't really get it. To me visiting teaching to me is all about love and being consistent in that love. It is a call to get to know and love these sisters in our ward as the Savior would if he were here to do it himself. It is ministering, listening, helping, being a friend, filling needs, sharing testimony and strengthening faith. It's knowing that someone cares about you and has your back. When you have that focus, the other stumbling blocks disappear. Suddenly you have time or make time because a dear friend needs you or you miss them if you don't talk regularly. The assignment becomes a joy as you establish a relationship, which I know from experience is not always easy to do. Even if you don't have time to visit you can make a phone call or send a letter or email or make sure to say hello to them at church. You drop off cookies or take flowers or let the sister know that you are thinking of her in whatever way you can because you love the Savior, you love that sister in the gospel and you fight any selfishness or time issues or discomfort because of that love.
A lot of women feel guilty when they're not being as diligent as they could be and my dear friend, Michelle, who was leading the discussion, was clear that we are not to judge one another on our efforts. I totally agree. Everyone is at a different stage in life and testimony and ability to handle the roadblocks that keep them from doing their visiting teaching. It is up to each individual to ponder how she can do better and follow that inspiration. Guilt can I suppose be a good thing if it motivates us to repent and change but that shouldn't come because we're afraid of what others are thinking, it should come from God who is pricking our heart to help us recognize we can do better. My heart was just bursting today because I feel so strongly about this sacred duty and I would want to encourage and lift others in their desires to be better and do better, but today's meeting wasn't really the time or place so I'm offering it here.
I have two main motivations for making this a priority in my life. First, I know how much I would appreciate having that kind of person in my life. For most of my adult life I haven't had visiting teachers who actually came to see me on a regular basis and sometimes that has been hurtful. But I can't control them or their actions; I can only control mine. So I strive to be the visiting teacher I wish I always had. I try to be a good listener and regular in my visits or contact, I try to be sincere and trustworthy. I try to step up when really needed and to be someone they can count on. I'm certainly not perfect and it can be a real challenge sometimes to drag my little kids to someone else's house or try to carry on a meaningful conversation when I am tired or missing time with my husband. But I do it because I know that someday I am going to stand before Jesus Christ and I don't want him to say, "You were asked to visit Sarah and she was really struggling and you weren't there". I wouldn't want him to be disappointed in me. Nothing I could spend my time doing would be worth suffering through his disappointment.
I have received so many blessings from visiting teaching and first is the wonderful relationships I have developed with women I might not have had a chance to really know otherwise. Kathy just turned 70 and when I met her seven years ago, she wasn't attending church very often so I only knew her from our monthly visits. She deals with health challenges and has a large family with many difficult situations and here I was pregnant with my second baby. We couldn't have been in more different stages of life. Yet through regular visits and talking and sharing and learning to love each other, she has become a very dear friend. She loves me like a daughter and I'm grateful for how she grandparents my children. We've shared some sacred experiences together and she is a blessing in my life. Noreen is in her 50s and we had hardly talked before I was assigned to be her visiting teacher. Now two years later she is practically part of my family. My children all love her and she joins us regularly for family home evening on Monday nights because no one in her family is a member of our church. She is the most optimistic and positive woman even when serious difficulty is all around her. Her faith has been a blessing to me. Melissa challenged me to see if I was coming out of duty or because I really cared about her and even after she stopped attending church altogether, we still keep in touch because she at some point realized I was sincere. It was hard though because she often blew me off and that hurt my feelings, but through prayer and the support of my husband, I was always able to put that aside and keep trying and I'm grateful that she and I are still friends today. Katherine suffers from serious back problems and was often home bound. She is a fantastic lady with so much talent and I never would have gotten to know her if I hadn't taken the time to go visit her.
I love visiting teaching. Not because it is easy or convenient or even fun but because it is a chance to participate in the work of the Lord. It is an opportunity to show him that I love him and that I will follow his commandment to love my neighbor as myself. It gives me a chance to establish relationships with women who help me and teach me and allow me to serve them. It increases the Savior's love in my life and strengthens my faith in him. It challenges me to get over my shyness or awkward sociality and look outside of my own problems and life to be a light to someone else. Not that I am always successful but I'm grateful to be able to try.
I wish we had time to talk about all of the really good things and how we can be better. You are such a good example to me of so many things. Most of all consistency, which I struggle so much with my flaky self. Love ya!
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure you are the best example of a visiting teacher ever. I've always struggled as a visiting teacher because I'm not good with making small talk, at all. I'm awkward. ;) I'm working on it. And luckily, I have women on my list that are very easy to talk to. No awkwardness yet! ;)
ReplyDelete