Dancing with Daffodils

Last week in the women's class at church, we discussed a wonderful talk by one of our church leaders that had to do with becoming perfect...eventually. This struggle is one I am constantly fighting because my inclination is to do it well or not at all. I hate making mistakes or coming up short. I know that is a common feeling but it has been a challenge for me since I can remember. When I danced on pointe, which was a dream come true, I was so afraid of falling and making a huge mistake that I tended to dance timidly and my movements were small. I wish now that I had put my whole heart into dancing instead of not falling. I struggle playing the piano in front of other people because I get so nervous about making a mistake and the one time I tried sewing it was a nightmare because I could not get the corners to line up just right and the whole quilt was just full of bent corners and other imperfections that made me crazy. With enough time and practice it seems that I should be a...

When I was younger, my dad gave each of us five girls a special name which he felt reflected one of our natural traits. I was named his daughter of love and there were many occasions where he would take us all out for a special dinner and present each of his daughters with a special award, which was a very kind letter sharing his feelings and love for us. I remember those as special times and always liking that love was my special gift. Last night I attended a church women's activity where we discussed the five love languages. It was wonderfully done and while I was familiar with the book and ideas therein, it was a good reminder that there are different ways to show love and all of them are important. My love language is dominantly time. To me, if you love me then you want to spend time with me, and I feel loved when people make that effort. I don't like forcing it though; I like knowing that you want to be with me or it doesn't feel genuine. When I don't get to spen...

Last year when I read The Happiness Project, one of the suggestions the author made was to read stories of people with challenges that help you appreciate how good you have it. Though I didn't mean to, I ended up doing that this week. I just finished Lilac Girls, which is a wonderful story and I highly recommend reading it, and it got me thinking about all that I am grateful for in my life. I know it isn't November but here is some of what I appreciate. 1. The United States of America. I know our country isn't perfect and we struggle with our democratic system and racial, moral and religious issues, but I can go for a walk in my neighborhood without having to be afraid of being arrested. I can send my children off to school without wondering if they will come back or if they got picked up by a government officer to be sent away for no reason. My husband can work, we can attend the church of our choice, we can have opinions and go on vacations and live in peace. I am grate...

I've been trying all week to think up a different topic but I just keep coming back to how much I love my husband, so forgive me for this very personal peek into my heart. It was 20 years ago that we were beginning to date and Valentine's Day will be the 20th anniversary of our first kiss. Today I was cleaning out my storage closet and found a box of letters we wrote to each other while living states apart and I could feel the desperate desire we had to be together. It was incredibly difficult being apart from each other for years when we were so connected. I had a flashback to that longing to just see him and be able to hug him and talk to him without worrying about the phone bill or my five roommates or what the time difference was between us. This week I picked up a journal off my shelf trying to jog some other memories and it just happened to be from right after we got married. My happiness was overwhelming. I say over and over again how my dreams have finally come true ...