Socially
After a busy birthday week, it was time to get back on track with my happiness. I decided since school was starting that it was a good time to meet my neighbors and work on my social goal. On Monday I decided to write out a simple invitation to a potluck dinner to be held in our yard on Saturday evening. I printed these off at about 5pm on Monday afternoon but was too chicken to go around and deliver them because I might run into the people coming home from work and have to talk to them. Kind of the idea, I know, but so awkward. I decided to do the sensible thing and wait until the next morning when hopefully everyone would be gone and I could just tape the invitation to their doors. Which I did.
Actually, my kids did it. I stood in the road while they ran up to the doors and taped the invitation onto it. I had them knock on the doors of the few neighbors we do actually know and we said hi and told them about the potluck so I knew that at least three families were coming, but we invited about 30. All week I told myself not to stress about it and that it wasn't going to be that much work so I didn't need to worry too much. All I had to do was get drinks, set up a table and make my taquitos and homemade salsa, then hope people came and that it wouldn't be too hard to keep a conversation going.
Saturday morning came and I stayed quite calm, which is good because I can get a bit tense right before a lot of people come over. I set up a table, made the food and even helped my husband put up a ceiling fan. It was pretty hot that afternoon and so for the first 45 minutes we were all roasting but then the sun went down and people showed up! About 10 families came and I got to say hello to them all and learn their names and actually have a conversation with one neighbor. It was exhausting but worth it. I am so bad at making chit chat and looking people in the eye when I'm uncomfortable and talking about shallow things with people that don't really know me. But, I am good at hosting parties and having people over on my turf and in my comfort zone where I can stay busy even when I don't have anyone to talk to or feel like an idiot for something I just said. Putting the two together allowed me to be somewhat successful in my ultimate goal of having someone I can borrow eggs from when I run out, feeling more comfortable at the bus stop and feeling like a part of this community.
It was scary and afterwards I was tired but many of the neighbors thanked me for taking the initiative to get people together and I was pleased with the introductions made. I still feel a bit awkward at the bus stop and might not ever become best friends with any of my neighbors but I think the time and effort spent on getting everyone together was worth it. It showed that we are friendly, we care about them and the kids had a fantastic time playing together so hopefully they feel more comfortable in the neighborhood now too. It wasn't the best evening ever but it was progress so I'm calling week 3 a success.
Actually, my kids did it. I stood in the road while they ran up to the doors and taped the invitation onto it. I had them knock on the doors of the few neighbors we do actually know and we said hi and told them about the potluck so I knew that at least three families were coming, but we invited about 30. All week I told myself not to stress about it and that it wasn't going to be that much work so I didn't need to worry too much. All I had to do was get drinks, set up a table and make my taquitos and homemade salsa, then hope people came and that it wouldn't be too hard to keep a conversation going.
Saturday morning came and I stayed quite calm, which is good because I can get a bit tense right before a lot of people come over. I set up a table, made the food and even helped my husband put up a ceiling fan. It was pretty hot that afternoon and so for the first 45 minutes we were all roasting but then the sun went down and people showed up! About 10 families came and I got to say hello to them all and learn their names and actually have a conversation with one neighbor. It was exhausting but worth it. I am so bad at making chit chat and looking people in the eye when I'm uncomfortable and talking about shallow things with people that don't really know me. But, I am good at hosting parties and having people over on my turf and in my comfort zone where I can stay busy even when I don't have anyone to talk to or feel like an idiot for something I just said. Putting the two together allowed me to be somewhat successful in my ultimate goal of having someone I can borrow eggs from when I run out, feeling more comfortable at the bus stop and feeling like a part of this community.
It was scary and afterwards I was tired but many of the neighbors thanked me for taking the initiative to get people together and I was pleased with the introductions made. I still feel a bit awkward at the bus stop and might not ever become best friends with any of my neighbors but I think the time and effort spent on getting everyone together was worth it. It showed that we are friendly, we care about them and the kids had a fantastic time playing together so hopefully they feel more comfortable in the neighborhood now too. It wasn't the best evening ever but it was progress so I'm calling week 3 a success.
I enjoy reading your blog! I am especially interested in reading about your happiness project. Way to step out of your comfort zone! What a fun idea to get to meet new people in your new neighborhood. I look forward to your next post.
ReplyDeleteI think it is amazing that you did this!
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