Grammy

I unfortunately never had a relationship with any of my grandparents. My maternal grandparents lived thousands of miles away and did not ever come to visit us. We saw them once a year when we went tot their house for a few days and it was always awkward for me because I didn't know them and they didn't know me at all. My paternal grandfather died when my dad was just six months old so he didn't even know his father. My grandmother lived far away as well and so we saw her infrequently. I was 15 when she died but she had experienced some mini strokes when I was nine or ten that left her incapable of communicating clearly. I have a card that she sent me when I was eight and she wrote that she loved me but I have no memory of any personal expression of love, though I know she must have.

When I started dating my husband, one of the first family members I met was his Grammy. She had lived with their family since before he was even born. She was a quiet, sweet lady and everybody loved her and wanted her to be happy. She loved music and would ask me to play the piano for her whenever I came over, one of the two people in my life who ever asked me to play for them. She loved to bake cookies and when I came over after school she would often be at the kitchen counter drinking a small glass of wine and eating a cookie. 

Grammy had a very difficult life and rarely, if ever, talked about herself. She kept the house very tidy and if my husband couldn't find something, it was because Grammy had put it away (or at least that was his excuse) and he rarely knew where away was. She would sit by the window and watch my husband shoot hoops in the driveway and then watch NBA basketball with him on Friday nights. She loved blue and refused to wear anything red. She loved birds and had a pet bird named Buddy for awhile. Though she rarely contributed to the conversation, she was a constant, loving presence in their home.

Her health started to decline shortly after my husband and I got married and for the last year or so of her life she had to be in a nursing home. I remember visiting her there at Christmas and playing the piano for her. She loved music and her face just radiated with joy. It was the best present I could give her. I loved her and appreciated having such a sweet relationship with her. I'm so grateful I was able to borrow her as my Grammy too and be blessed by her kindness and love. She died right around Valentine's Day in 2007 and it was one of the few times I've seen my husband openly weep. His deep love for her and their close relationship blessed his life in a very special way that helped make him the man that I love so much. She was a wonderful lady and I'm grateful for the simple, every day kind of experiences we shared together.