Dancing with Daffodils

The last of my four happiness goals was a physical goal to exercise every day for a week. I definitely put this one off. I am not happy with my body right now and feel very frustrated with two things in particular, one which I feel I have control over and one which I don't so instead of wallowing like I usually do, it was time to focus on what I could do to be more healthy. I have only ever exercised in order to lose weight but tried to shift my focus to exercising to be healthy and feel good, whether I lose weight or not. I enjoy volleyball and swimming and bike riding and try to take walks with the kids regularly but nothing is consistent enough or easy to do with kids and my schedule so this goal was really one of prioritization and an effort to not be lazy or make excuses.  I was moderately successful. Monday I went for a walk while pushing my two kids in the stroller, Tuesday I did my elliptical machine, and Wednesday I did laps at the pool. Thursday and Friday were both ve...

After a busy birthday week, it was time to get back on track with my happiness. I decided since school was starting that it was a good time to meet my neighbors and work on my social goal. On Monday I decided to write out a simple invitation to a potluck dinner to be held in our yard on Saturday evening. I printed these off at about 5pm on Monday afternoon but was too chicken to go around and deliver them because I might run into the people coming home from work and have to talk to them. Kind of the idea, I know, but so awkward. I decided to do the sensible thing and wait until the next morning when hopefully everyone would be gone and I could just tape the invitation to their doors. Which I did. Actually, my kids did it. I stood in the road while they ran up to the doors and taped the invitation onto it. I had them knock on the doors of the few neighbors we do actually know and we said hi and told them about the potluck so I knew that at least three families were coming, but we invi...

My precious first baby turned eight today. I remember her birth so well with all of the newness of if written on my heart and body. I woke up at 5am to go to the bathroom and felt a little gush so I called the doctor and she said to come in. I took a shower and got to the hospital at 6am. I remember when they finished breaking my water for me and what a strange sensation that was, and how relaxed I was because I had an epidural. I was so numb though that even my fingers were tingling and it completely freaked me out so I had them dial the medicine down. My husband was reading the Reader's Digest to me but I was so tired and struggled to stay awake and listen (even though later I found out he was trying to help me go to sleep). Because I was so numb, it was really hard to push and it took about 2 hours before the doctor threatened to suction my baby out. A quick two pushes later, she was out at 2:04 p.m. on a beautiful summer Sunday afternoon, She needed some immediate attention...

This week was #2 in my happiness challenge and I focused on increasing my emotional happiness through better parenting. It was a great week. I didn't raise my voice, I limited my sarcasm, and I tried to be more fun and easy going when my kids were being challenging. On the first day when my three-year-old spilled her full bowl of cereal all over the floor, I sang to her to get a towel and clean it up instead of my usual, are ya kidding me? In fact, singing helped a lot in the beginning of the week. I sang to my children when they were fighting and I sang to them when I was super annoyed for various reasons. The best was when my three-year-old sang back to me in a very operatic voice telling me she would sit nicely at the table. I laughed out loud and that was a wonderfully fun moment that I appreciated. I feel like I'm constantly correcting my kids. Eat over your plate. Be nice. Don't scare your little sister. Give that back. Stop whacking him with the blanket. Try that...

It has been a busy summer but this week I tackled my goal of being happier by challenging myself mentally. Every day I took at least 20 minutes to myself for this goal, which was no easy task. I only missed one day of practicing the piano and it was so enjoyable to have that much time to just play. While I practiced all types of music, I decided to especially focus on re-learning Rachmaninoff's fifth piano concerto. It was my senior recital piece and I'll admit I barely made it through the song back then. I love it though and can mostly play it so I'm hoping that in a few weeks of concentrated effort that I'll be able to sit down and play it all the way through again. I also spent time reading a fiction book about WWII that took place in Hungary. I know very little about Hungary so while it was kind of depressing, it was informative and an interesting read. I also broke out my Norton Anthology from when I went on study abroad to London and read through some John Milto...

I recently read The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin for my book club. It is not my usual type of read but I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed it. I appreciated how she used real examples and stories to illustrate how she was trying to accomplish her goal of being happier. It has prompted me to think about my own happiness. Like she said in the beginning of her book, I also have a great life and am very happy. I'm healthy, I have a loving and healthy marriage, I get to spend my time raising four wonderful little people whom I love very much and I live in a beautiful, peaceful, comfortable place. But could I be happier? Can't we all?  I would certainly be happier if I lost 20 pounds and didn't feel fat in just about every shirt I wore. Even more so I'd be happier if I had the self-discipline to exercise and eat better to make that happen. I think I would be happier if I talked more kindly to my children. I'd probably be happier if I spent more of my...

I've been thinking a lot lately about relationships. I attended a marriage seminar and came out of it feeling pretty good. I don't say this to be boastful but of all the relationships in my life, my relationship with my spouse is the easiest and best. We communicate well, he is a fantastic listener, we have fun together, we are honest and open and tease each other and are good at working through differences of opinion. Even before we got married I knew I could tell him anything and he would allow me those feelings and help me work through them. He is kind, respectful and understanding and just an all around fantastic man, so it is easy being married to him. Sometimes I struggle with my parent/child relationship. My children aren't always as nice to me as my husband is, nor as respectful, nor did I choose to spend my life with them in the same way. I adore my children and do my best to raise them well, but there are plenty of times I don't like my children and don'...