Life

When we got home it was go time. I now have two middle schoolers and no good reason not to be up with them so I've been getting up at 6am, which is not my favorite, but I have been surprisingly productive, except the one day I did go right back to bed after they left. Last Monday was also the first day of dance and the first day of teaching piano so I just had to jump back into it all, but did so with some grace, I would say.

Tuesday morning I took Curtis to an early dentist appointment, picked up groceries and was back home by 830 am. I've had a kid on the Evergreen bus for 13 years and it is kind of blowing my mind a bit that I don't have to wait around until 8:45 am to do anything now. I went to Inklings and the library and felt very productive about my morning.The bummer of the day was when Leisa ran over our sprinkler when she came for piano and totally popped her tire. They had to wait for a tow truck and reconfigure their evening while I took Brandon to practice. I chatted with Lily a bit and with Josh and it was good. 

Honestly the rest of the week has been pretty standard. Although Thursday I went to go get peaches to can and they didn't have any so that was a bummer, but I stopped by Kathy's house because I am her ministering sister again and we talked for a few hours. It had been a long time and so there was a lot to catch up on. As I was driving home I felt great peace and had this moment of clarity that my life needs to be more people-focused and less check-off-my-list-focused. Our Inklings discussion and a talk I had listened to on Sunday by Elder Kearon had really got me thinking about how I need to BE someone, not just constantly doing things to feel productive and good about myself. I need to slow down and focus my efforts on people and I think that will give me more joy. That's how I felt that afternoon after listening to Kathy talk for two hours; I could have been stressed that it had taken so much time and I wasn't going to get other things done and I think that is how I would have felt even just a few months ago. Instead I felt peace that I had taken time to listen to a friend and show her my love and I was unconcerned with my to-do list (which was short that day or I wouldn't have planned to go over) but still, it was a nice feeling. Even the things I need to do I want to do with more people-focused purpose. 

That evening Curtis had a scrimmage and it was fun to see him play ball again. Cross country is not a spectator sport so I don't usually go to his meets (I am also usually teaching) but I love watching my boys play baseball. With all of the change that has been happening lately, I found it very comforting and familiar to be at the park watching baseball. 

Friday Josh worked from home and I did some good cleaning. During the summer it is just so hard to keep up with the regular chores because we're so busy having fun, let alone the deeper cleaning. Sometimes we would get a big one done but mostly I just tried to keep the house from getting too gross. So I'm focusing on one space at a time (too overwhelming otherwise) and I got Lily's room all clean. Emma, Brandon and I watched The Three Musketeers that night and that was fun; I can quote most of it and even though Brandon complained there was too much kissing and Emma complained there was too much sword-fighting, it was a nice evening. 

Saturday Curtis was gone all day at a XC invitational and Emma had dance but other than that it was very low-key. Josh just hasn't had any energy and has been very achy and tired so we haven't been doing much. Brandon went to play with a  friend and I did stuff that needed to be done. Then we watched the BYU football game that evening and it was super fun. I kept an eye out for Lily and we were texting her during it and she loved it. 

Sunday was a lovely church day. I played the organ and primary went well and I looked through the primary closet after church while Emma and Curtis were in a meeting. That afternoon we chatted with Lily and she is doing so well. She got called as the first counselor in the Relief Society presidency and she is excited. She was set apart and told us some of what was in her blessing and it struck me that this is the first time she's been called and set apart and I didn't know about it and wasn't there. Most of the time I feel like I am doing pretty well with her being gone but there are moments when I get really sad and that was one of them. 

Monday was Labor day so we all enjoyed a day off but it was a very lazy and boring one. I made waffles for breakfast but after that everyone scattered. It was such a beautiful day but Curtis just wanted to relax and study for the SAT, Josh wasn't up for anything, Emma just wanted to read and Brandon went to a friend's house and then went to the pool with them. I had offered to take him to the pool but he doesn't like going with just me so I went for a long walk and read. 

Tuesday I hosted Inklings and we had a wonderful discussion and then I went and got peaches to can and make jam out of and freeze. We also finally got the garage opener fixed; after a month of not being able to really use the garage it is good to have it back. I even plugged in the freezer and put some ice cream in there. Another fun part of the lightning strike saga is that we have been seeing some unwelcome bugs and it finally got bad the other night and freaked me out so an exterminator is coming tomorrow to blast our kitchen and then I will hopefully be able to be in it without feeling anxious. 

Josh is still really sick and we are waiting for answers. I am very anxious about it all and want to know what is wrong with him and fix it so I can get my husband back. I am scared it is something serious but am hopeful it is something simple. I have felt a bit weighed down with the burdens of mortality lately but am just trying to press forward with faith and hope.