Week 25

September! Here we are. The first week of school went pretty well. It was kind of boring for the kids because a lot of it was learning how to use the platform for virtual learning and reviewing healthy practices and doing get to know you stuff, but I imagine this week is going to be busier. Brandon only did a 30 minute meeting and then one assignment so a pretty slow start to kindergarten for sure. He spent the rest of the day playing, having recess and lunch, listening to books on Epic and doing handwriting practice that I gave him. He is anxious to be independent and I am thrilled they announced this week that kindergarten kids can go back to school on Oct 5 for two days a week at least. It is going to be so good for him and then hopefully everything will go well and all the kids will start their hybrid learning on October 19. They will go two days a week and be home for three, which still isn't ideal but I feel like seeing their teachers and being able to turn things in and be accountable will be so good for them. It will also allow Curtis to do some of the hands on stuff that he's supposed to be doing in STEM so I am hopeful and happy for them. 

We didn't do much else this week. It was a lot of just figuring out school and I did get some things around the house taken care of, with many, many interruptions though. Curtis had baseball practice so we did play at the park for two hours one evening and the other night it was cancelled because of field saturation so we went to the pool and played as a family after dinner and that was really nice. Friday the kids were done with their school stuff pretty early so we went to the library and did some shopping at Kohl's then we got to the pool just as it opened at 4pm. Josh picked up pizza and we finally had our picnice at the pool and swam until bed time. It made me happy to finally have accomplished that simple goal this summer. I don't know why everything has felt so hard this summer but it has. 

Saturday we spent the day at the beach and it was lovely. When we first got there they weren't going to let us go down to the main parking lot, just like on July 4th, which was frustrating. That means a half mile walk with all our beach stuff to a smaller beach than the normal one and I was disappointed that again, everything had to be so hard, but then Sarah sweet-talked the guy into letting our four cars go down to the main area so hooray! It was so nice to be able to park close to the beach and bring all of our kayaks and paddle boards and canopys. We stayed for six hours and it was so beautiful. I actually went paddle boarding for the first time. It has never interested me before but yesterday I was anxious to get out on the water and it was so calm I wasn't too worried about falling in, though I certainly didn't want to. I kneeled for a bit at first but then got up and it was nice. I couldn't move very far very fast and my legs were definitely feeling it from being in a bit of a squat the whole time but I didn't fall off at all and enjoyed being out on the water. It was sparkly and quiet and beautiful. It was fun to be with friends and have Josh around and the kids all loved jumping off the Tony's and Josh's paddle boards. I felt some peace and calm return to my heart after a stressful and tough week emotionally. 

My kids all did really well with their school stuff but they still (two in particular) just demand so much from me and even though they are super good kids, it can add up to a lot. I feel so much pressure to keep them busy doing good things and making sure they are using their time wisely and that was a challenge this week. Curtis wouldn't go play outside at all so I had to kick him out of the house and even then he asked if he could take a book. I'm glad he loves to read so much but man, this kid needs recess with his classmates so badly. He loves to play sports with other kids but won't do anything alone. Emma needs constant attention and there was a lot of fighting this week (I think the kids were stressed too about school starting) and they just need time to be with other people. I've been mediating thier issues for six months now and it has been wearing on me. This week it didn't take much to set me off or get me upset with them, which usually I feel like I can be pretty patient. I am so grateful for dance starting this week because even though it puts pressure on our schedule, I feel like it will be so good for my girls to be so physically active, be around other kids, learning from an adult other than me, and it will restore some normality to their lives too. Baseball has been so good for Curtis and this week he has his first game. It will be a busy week because I am also starting back with all my piano students and I lost one but got three new ones. This is the normal anxiousness I feel at the beginning on September when we figure out our new schedule but this year all the weirdness of virtual school and COVID-19 stuff makes it feel even more out of my control and stressful. I guess I'll just do the best I can and hope my kids still like me by the end of this all. At least there is hope for October when I will have two days a week where life will be "normal". 

We are still waiting to hear back from the builder about the crack in our foundation. Josh is ready to take it to the next level with them; we've got to get this taken care of and it is going to take awhile so I hope we can get started soon. I've felt pretty lonely this week. I spent all of my time with my kids and hardly saw another adult all week until Saturday. Josh is super busy and even emotionally, I feel distant from most people because I haven't really found anyone who feels like I do about life right now. Everyone is doing their own thing and has strong opinions about politics, racial issues, school stuff, virus response and practices, and I find it so isolating. I am not one to share my opinions that readily and feel like all the virtual discussions have gotten toxic. I don't think people would talk that way to each other in person. These issues have been very devisive and I kind of feel like I'm on my own little island of opinon and beliefs and it can be lonely. Then I found out my favorite resturant closed without any warning and for some reason that made me really sad. Our whole family loves Cafe Rio and the next closest one to us is an hour and a half away. Josh and I went there for almost all of our dates out and anytime I planned a birthday lunch for someone, that is where we all met up. I am really going to miss it, even as silly as I feel about admiting how sad I feel about food. 

Today has been a lovely sabbath day. We had a great Sunday school lesson and then I got my piano schedule all figured out during the youth meeting. Then we had a long singing time today where I would say a phrase and they had to guess the song it came from, then we would sing the song. We went through almost all of the songs they were supposed to learn in primary this year. Then we had a nice sacrament meeting where we shared our testimonies with each other. I am grateful for the sabbath day to be a reset to our week. I need the physical and emotional rest and appreciate that as I focus on Jesus Christ and his gospel, it makes my problems seem smaller and more manageable. It also reminds me why I am a parent and my eternal goals and purpose.