Dancing with Daffodils

I have been loving January. It is clean, simple, unscheduled and snowy. Where we live, as soon as there is even a mention of snow, everything shuts down, so we had a Sunday with no church and a Monday of no school. I love that after such a busy December with lots of outside commitments, January is when we actually get family time. I love that I don't have to feel guilty for sitting under a blanket and reading a book all afternoon because there isn't anywhere I have to be or any fun I should feel like I should be having on such a cold and cloudy day.  The only downside has been my children. I am not sure what is wrong with them lately but I think for all of the reasons I love January, they are struggling. The amount of fighting in our home lately has reached unprecedented levels and I was about ready to buy myself a ticket to a far-away island yesterday. I don't like contention at all and get very stressed when there is yelling or arguing. The constant need to mediate thes...

I did it! Literally minutes before the big, glass ball dropped, I finished reading my 35th book for 2018. In a previous blog post, I shared the first 17 that I read for the year and here is the rest. 18. A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles. This book wasn't quite what I expected but I ended up really liking it. I am intrigued with Russian culture and history from the time that I spent living in Ukraine. At first it felt like it was moving slowly but then I came to appreciate that it was more philosophical in nature. I loved the main character and found it to be a very interesting story. 19. The Girl Who Wrote in Silk by Kelli Estes. I think I would say this is the best book I read all year. I loved the story, it was a unique story especially as far as time and place and I loved the characters. I also am a big fan of books that have a family mystery and that jumps back and forth between time periods unraveling the story. I have recommended this book to many people and they have...

Hallelujah! Every outside commitment I have is done, my husband finished up his work project, the kids are off from school and all I have left to be ready for Christmas is a bit of wrapping and cooking a turkey. To say I am relieved is an understatement. Now that the good but busy-ness of Christmas is done, I feel more peaceful and like I can take a quiet moment to really feel the spirit of it all.  Today as I was making cinnamon rolls and listening to Christmas music, I felt such gratitude for my parents. There is something about Christmas that always makes me think back to childhood and those special years of celebrating as a kid with my sisters and parents. My mom is a wonderful cook and she makes the best cinnamon rolls in the world. They are different than most people's cinnamon rolls and take a special touch to make them turn out just right. The first half of mine came out well but the second half were near perfect and I had this moment of joyful success! She has taught me...

It is Christmas time, a time I love and from which comes many of my fond childhood memories. However, as an adult, some of the magic has certainly been lost in the work of it all. This has only been emphasized this year because my husband is working a ton of overtime and between that and heavy church responsibilities, he has hardly been home in three weeks and has two more of this to go. Then the last week or so he has been really sick so even when he was home he was sleeping. It has been a bit lonely doing almost all of the decorating, gift planning, baking, party planning, as well as general life/family management with little support (not by his own choice).  The most difficult feeling of all is that of just not being enough. More times than I can count the past few weeks I have put my head in my hands and thought, I can't make this all happen. It isn't even in the commercial part of Christmas that many would say to cut out in order to simplify our lives. We have filled our...

There are so many problems and heartache in this world. My mission president and his wife once told a group of us missionaries that they often prayed in gratitude for all of the problems they didn't have. This week I have felt humbled by the circumstances of so many and it certainly makes me grateful for my very normal and simple life. I could look at those with lots of money and think how fun it would be to travel more and honestly, sometimes I do, but today I am grateful that I don't have to worry about where I am going to sleep tonight or what I am going to feed my family. I don't have to stress about clothing or how to get around or if my kids are safe playing outside. I don't have to worry about their behavior at school or their health. I am not in a hospital being treated for a terrible disease and I am not in chronic pain. I am not concerned that when my husband gets home he is going to hurt me or be unkind to me in any way. I don't have to worry about subs...

My husband has now been the bishop of our congregation for six months and thirteen days. People have just barely stopped asking me what it is like to be a bishop's wife and I don't think I have ever answered the question well because it is a complicated response. First off, it is challenging, and more so than I expected it to be. Perhaps pridefully, I thought when he got called that I was totally ready for this challenge and could handle it. My dad was a bishop and stake president from the time I can remember until I was in high school and my mom never complained or seemed bothered about him being gone so much. I figured I could easily follow her good example and do the same. I am now more humble in realizing that I can't handle the increased burden of parenthood on my own well. It isn't even just the physicality of getting them where they need to go but also the emotional stress of being the only one who is there to handle all disputes, break downs, complaining and m...

It has been awhile. I have been too busy reading and cleaning my house from the wonderful mess that is summer. I have been organizing a space almost every weekday and it has made me so happy to have a clean laundry room again and an organized shoe closet and I even cleaned out my freezer. I am half way on my list but decided today to take a break and do some writing. I have been thinking a lot about feelings lately. A month or so ago I had an interaction with a good friend that left me feeling hurt and left out and unappreciated or even liked. For days I thought about it and it bothered me. I wasn't super friendly when I saw her because I was allowing my hurt feelings to let me step back from the relationship. As a kid I was always accused of being too sensitive so I have worked hard as an adult to not stew or stress about every interaction I have. I think I've done a good job learning to let go of these kinds of situations and move on and I can usually do that, but this time...