Oh the joys of mortality

This little guy greeted me one morning; thankfully he was on the outside but in-between the screen and the door. He was cute but left after a little while.

 I was going to title this Wake Me Up, When September Ends, but I decided to be a bit more positive. The last few weeks have been hard and I'm not even sure I really want to write about them but here's a summary.

We've been battling cockroaches in the kitchen which is beyond disgusting. It was just a handful here and there but then one night I was up late waiting for Josh to get back from picking up his friend from the airport and I found a whole bunch under my kitchen mat and lost it. They are just so gross and pop up out of nowhere and they're so fast and it just makes me feel dirty to have them in my kitchen. So I finally called the exterminator and told him to come right away. He was a super nice guy and came one day to talk through it with me and said he would be back the next day to do the treatment. 

Unfortunately that overlapped with Josh's appointment with the hematologist. I really wanted to go with him because honestly I was afraid he was going to get bad news and I wanted to be with him. But that was the only time the exterminator could come. Thankfully it worked out in a couple of ways. First, his appointment was not that helpful or informational and so it was okay for me not to be there. Second, we got the treatment process going for the bugs. Third, while I was out mowing the lawn (because I had a lot of nervous energy and needed to move and accomplish something), I got a text from Chelsea asking if I could come sit at her house for a bit. She needed to take kids to the doctor but was expecting an important delivery so I went and sat at her house for awhile and talked to my mom and that was good; I got to help and it helped me relax. Then I came home and finished the lawn and Josh called and said he was all good.

So then the next day I spent all morning, literally about five hours, cleaning out my kitchen. It was so much work to pull everything out of every drawer and every cabinet and wipe it down. I have so many jars of canned fruit and all of my candles and the kid art cupboard and it was just a lot. I got done just as the guy showed up so then I went to take a quick shower because he wanted us out of the house when he started treating. Josh was home and quite sick this day so I convinced him to drive over with me to the Grondels and hang out there with me while we had to be out of the house. McKenzie had asked me to come help clean (which I had offered to do weeks before) so the timing worked out well and while Josh rested I helped her wipe down walls and take out garbage and it was fun to be with her for awhile. I am really going to miss their family. McKenzie has such a sweet and kind and positive nature about her and we had some good talks while she was Relief Society president that were very meaningful to me. I'm glad I was able to help her out for a few hours.

Then we had to get back home to take Emma to dance and since we couldn't use our kitchen we ended up at Nicolletti's for pizza. We left everything out on Saturday too because one, it made it easier to see the bugs and kill them and two, it was just so much work and I didn't have time to put it all back together. Sunday morning I had Emma and Brandon help me put the stuff we use most back and then I did the rest Monday morning. It was really so much work but I am glad to have an organized kitchen and we got rid of some stuff so that was good but for two weeks now we are still finding these little friends on the regular and it is getting so exhausting. I can't be relaxed in the kitchen so I called quite frustrated Wednesday and they came back Friday and sprayed again. We killed a few right after but I've only seen a couple since then so here is hoping that we are finally winning the war. 

The other big battle has been with Josh's health. He has been sick since before we went to Utah the last week of August and when we got back he started coughing and stopped sleeping. He was guzzling honey and cough drops and not getting more than an hour or two of sleep per night. He turned into a zombie, just shuffling around the house so exhausted and feeling terrible. He finally got in with his primary care doctor (original appointment was for Oct) and she ordered a bunch of tests to be done because she wasn't sure of the actual problem. Hematologist basically said the same thing when he went there; that he needed to do some tests. So the first one was a CT and abdominal scan, which he had last Wednesday. That afternoon was an early dismissal so I moved all of my piano lessons up so that we could go to Curtis's cross country meet at Leonardtown. I dropped Josh and Brandon off and then went and parked (Josh was pretty weak at this point) and by the time I found them again, Josh had talked to his primary care doctor and she told him he had a massive infection in his lung and needed to get to a hospital for treatment. Josh was actually thrilled to finally know what was going on and have a way to deal with it so we watched Curtis run (he did pretty well) and then we went home, Josh took a shower and packed a bag and drove himself to Georgetown hospital. 

 

My brother-in-law died of a similar diagnosis and so they only thing that gave me the strength to let Josh go was a blessing he had received the week before from Bishop Wiest that promised him his body would be made whole. I stayed with the kids that night and got them off to school in the morning then drove straight up to the hospital. Josh was still in the ER but already on antibiotics and every day he met with the infectious disease, pulmonary and internal medicine team. I spent the morning with him and then President Boyd came to visit him and I had to leave to get home and take care of the kids and teach piano lessons. That night I was sitting alone at Brandon's game feeling very alone and worried and tired but Joe Hayes called and asked if he could go visit Josh and Lily called and we talked for a minute and then Brandon had a great hit, which was exciting. So many people reached out and it was very sweet.

Friday I cleared my schedule and went to spend the day with Josh. It was actually a nice day outside of the fact that we were stuck in a hospital room. Once we was admitted he was in a nice private room and the nurse that day was really nice. We just talked and watched some TV and he took a nap while I read and we just enjoyed being together. Thankfully Leisa was willing to pick up Emma and Brandon and take Emma to dance then Brandon hung out with her and Joel for the evening. Curtis picked up Emma from dance and Donna brought the two of them dinner and they had a nice evening hanging out together. I got home by bed time and chatted with everyone and got them all to bed after reassuring them that their dad was doing better. 

Saturday Emma had her Nutcracker audition and Brandon had a baseball game and Curtis had cross country and then Curtis took Brandon to a birthday party while I went and played the piano at a baptism. Michelle was so sweet and picked up Emma and took her to their house for the afternoon and Brandon had fun at the party and then the Howells picked him up and took him to their house for the evening and so Curtis, Emma and I hung out, which never really happens. We watched the BYU football game that night with Josh on facetime so that was fun, especially since we played so well and we love keeping an eye out for Lily. Jason went to visit Josh that day so that made me feel better that he wasn't all alone and he watched college football and talked to his brother. 

There was a lot of back and forth on whether he was going to have a bronchoscope to actually find out what was happening in his lung but they were encouraged by the way his white blood cell count was coming down and his fevers/night sweats/chills stopped. The cough medicine they gave him was amazing and he finally was able to sleep. So he rested most of the weekend and they continued to pump him full of antibiotics. Sunday I went up and spent the day with him again and it seemed like maybe the pulmonary doctor did want to do the procedure after all so I went up Monday morning fully expecting that to be scheduled and for him to need to stay a few more days but thankfully, they decided not to do it and that they are pretty sure it is necrotizing pneumonia because of the way it was responding to the antibiotics. So they actually discharged him that afternoon. I stayed all morning but had to leave by 1pm to get home and he ended up getting home about 7pm. It was such a relief to have him home. He is still on antibiotics for three weeks and has to have a repeat scan to make sure his lung is clear so he is still in the process of recovery, but finally recovering. His eyes are bright again and he decided he could stay in his PhD class (there was a low point where we were pretty sure he was going to have to drop it since the man couldn't think with no sleep) so that is what he has been doing this week. He is sleeping as much as possible and trying to catch up on school work and he did go to work for a few hours both Wednesday and Thursday. 

Friday we took Brandon to the fair for a few hours. Emma didn't want to go and Curtis was at cross country and said he wasn't interested in going with us either. It feels like now that Lily is gone all tradition is broken. Oh well, we had a nice time looking through the buildings, getting a treat, seeing some animals and then calling it a day. As it was when we got home Josh fell asleep for awhile. It was the first time he has been to the fair in years. We saw the Dorns and Wiests and Howells, My favorite is always the photography and this year was extra fun because Nicole entered pictures she took of Lily and she won second and third place. 

 

The exterminator came again and sprayed again and put a trap out too and didn't charge us any extra so that was great. He did tell us we have termites out in the garage though so that will have to be dealt with at some point but one problem at a time. Then we went to church to help with the free garage sale, our stake service project. We sorted through all of the books and organized them and I hung up a bunch of dresses while Josh and the kids organized toys. Curtis went to the fair with friends and we came home and had dinner and watched a movie. 

Saturday Brandon had a baseball game, Emma had dance, Curtis was gone at the Bull Run Invitational that is almost in Pennsylvania and Josh helped out with the service project again. Curtis did very well and came in 33rd of 143 runners and his team placed third, which was awesome. Today was a good church day with meetings and organ playing and I got to sit in on my old primary class, which was fun. So many people came up to ask how Josh was doing and I've been so touched by how much our ward and stake families love Josh; he has spent a lot of his time serving them so it is sweet to have it returned in love during a tough time for him. 

 

In other news, during all of that above fun, I bought peaches to can. I usually do them the last week of August but was gone in Utah so I went once to get them before Labor day and he didn't have any. I went back the Tuesday after and had them sitting out to ripen for a few days. However that was when we were deep into the bug situation so I had to move them all into the dining room and they sat there for days longer than they should have. I went to go can them and make some jam only to realize they hadn't actually ripened. They went moldy but were still hard; it was extremely frustrating to have spent all that time and money only to end up with hard, moldy peaches. I made a few batches of jam but ended up throwing the rest out, which was so disheartening. Days later I was pulling out of the hospital parking lot when my mom called and told me that she had canned a bushel of peaches that day for me. I immediately started crying; I don't think she could have done anything nicer for me. It made me feel like less of a failure and now every time my kids and I eat a jar of peaches, we will feel of her love and care for us all over again. I'm so blessed to have such a wonderful mother. She said she felt helpless and really wanted to help and that was the perfect way. 

This morning I got to have breakfast with Jana. She moved to Texas back when Lily was in 6th grade (her daughter and Lily were besties) and now John is retired and working for Southwest so they come visit with their free tickets sometimes. She was in town for the weekend for a wedding so we met up for a bagel and it was so fun to talk with her. We've been friends since they moved in next door to our duplex back in 2011 or so and she is such a calm, positive, fun person to be around. I'm grateful we've kept our friendship going because she is certainly a blessing to me. 

Hoping now for a calm October.