A summer week

 I have been kind of grumpy this week and I'm not sure why. Monday was closet clean out day and it was relatively successful. Emma did a great job (we had done her closet a few weeks ago so it was mostly just tidying), Curtis did really well on the part he chose to organize and was good at ignoring the rest of it, Lily did well but missed a section so she did it the next day and Brandon helped me with mine and was a super helper. I have a pile of things to get rid of and that always makes me happy. I did piano lessons with all the kids too and Lily went babysitting and to dance. Then we went to the pool. Josh picked up pizza and we had dinner there. It was really quiet so we had a pool all to ourselves and that was fun. It is one of my kids favorite things to do in the summer, probably because Josh is more fun at the pool than I am and it is one of the few times he comes with us. 

Tuesday was crazy and I was so grumpy with Lily for not planning out our day well. She makes plans that require my time and it is a new experience and something we are both learning to deal with better. Months ago she did an adopt a grandma activity for YW and she has become tight with her "grandma" and talks to her every Sunday for at least an hour. Tuesday Lily went over to her house to bake cookies, which we both thought would be less than two hours but that isn't how it worked out. It also is 35 minutes from our house so I drove her and made plans for while she was baking and then had to rush her out of there to keep on schedule and pick up my other kids and meet up with friends and get her to dance on time. It was quite stressful and that annoyed me on a summer day. I am so glad that Lily is so selfless and willing to spend a summer morning with a home bound member of ward who is lonely and I am happy to support her in her service; it was more the scheduling part that bothered me so we talked it out and hopefully she'll learn to plan and ask more questions so that we can make it work better next time. I am losing control of my schedule and it feels like my life to some degree, but I know it is short term. We did make it to 7-11 for slurpees, which I have never had,  but everyone liked and it was free so yippee. Josh tried to stop on his way home from work but the line was super long so that was a bummer.

Wednesday I went to the gym, library, took Lily to dance, she went babysitting and then the boys went to the temple. I think Josh was sad it was his last one as bishop because he does really enjoy being with the youth, but I can't help thinking how nice it will be to not have to go to every youth activity. Youth callings are a lot of time and they are wonderful but a lot of time. They had a great experience and got home late. I really need to go to the temple; that will for sure help my grumpy level lessen.

Thursday we cleaned and read and hung out and then Lily had dance and a birthday party and Josh had his first stake high council meeting and then bishopric. Friday was fun though. We thought storms were going to mess us up but we ended up having a great pool day with friends. We stayed for 6.5 hours and everyone had fun, except Lily who didn't even come. She apparently doesn't like swimming anymore. I am chalking it up to weird teenage moods but she was a bum and missed a fun day. I love long summer days and being outside and having the kids be physical and enjoy time with friends. We really only left because Josh and I went out on a date and I needed to shower. We went to dinner and to see Mission Impossible and it was fun. Curtis took care of things here and did a good job while Lily was off babysitting and had to clean up throw up for her first time. Life skills! 

Yesterday was kind of boring. I've learned that if I don't plan something for us to do together as a family, we don't end up doing anything together. I went to BJs, Josh did his stuff, the kids read or played and it felt like a normal day, which bothers me because it is so rare for us to have a totally open Saturday and I feel like we wasted it a bit. But it is also nice to not have anything to do. After dinner we did go to the Navy recreation area to walk around a bit, play at the park and chill on the beach for a bit. Only Emma and Brandon came with us and I feel like part of me losing control is that my kids don't all want to do the same thing anymore. Lily was babysitting but Curtis didn't want to come with us and it bothered me, like it bothered me that Lily didn't come to the pool with us. I know it is normal that teenagers don't want to hang with their parents but it is new and strange that they don't enjoy everything I plan for them, especially things they used to enjoy. It is so hard to keep everyone happy lately and I feel splintered and frustrated. 

 

 

Today was a lovely day at church and Lily and I talked to my parents about the pioneer she is walking for at youth conference this week. We are direct descendants of Hyrum Smith so Lily chose Mary Fielding Smith and it was fun to be reminded of her faith and the best part of this wonderful story about her lost oxen is what it taught her son; her son who became an apostle and a prophet. It was her example of prayer and faith and finding those oxen that deeply impressed upon him the truthfulness of these principles.  A good reminder that motherhood is important and eternal and worth my best effort. I also love being reminded of the legacy of faith that I come from and I can take courage from those who came before me. We sang Come, Come Ye Saints today and the words really spoke to me. Some people have said they feel sorry for me because Josh got called into the stake presidency and that bothers me. Yes, it is a challenging calling but how can I expect a great reward if I am not willing to do what the Lord asks of me? My ancestors left their homes and walked across the country to be obedient to the Lord and his prophet so I can certainly sacrifice time and effort in serving others and supporting Josh as he does so. It is an honor to participate in the work of the Lord and I'm grateful for the opportunity. Why should I mourn or think my lot is hard? Tis not so. All is well!