Week 36-37

 I'm not really in the mood to write today so I'll keep this brief. This past week was much like any other. We were busy with school work mostly. For some reason this week felt even longer and I got very little done besides school work and making sure my kids are doing it all. I am so excited to have a few days off for Thanksgiving. It is like I am a kid again and can't wait for days off from school! I did get some cleaning, some cooking and some exercising in but not much. 

Book club was fun this week. We talked about some Agatha Christie books and I had read them both before but it had been awhile so it was fun to reread them. I generally like mysteries and trying to figure them out. It was a small group of us but we had a pretty good discussion. 

Wednesday I got to see Chelsea for a bit because I watched her kids while she had some alone time. It was fun to help out and to talk with her for a bit. 

Okay, that was two weeks ago and now, here I am today, Thursday, Dec 3. I can't remember what else happened that week other than school and piano lessons and dance and regular life stuff. Friday I spent most of the day getting ready to go to see my parents. I had a little freak out the Sunday before about travel restrictions and I talked about it with Josh and he was totally low-key about it. Well then Friday night at literally 7pm, he decides to read the websites and suddenly he doesn't think we should go. I about lost my mind. The time and preparation and I had brought this up to him days before; I felt like he had missed his chance to put a kabosh on this trip. He said it was never too late to make the right choice but in this case I disagreed. I called my parents and they were fine with us coming so I told him I was going. It felt like the right decision at the time even though it was going against what two governors were saying and Josh didn't like that, but by the next morning, he was on board. We spent the whole week with just my parents and my sister's family and we only went to the grocery store, the jewelry store to get my ring checked and cleaned, then I went to JCPenny to get some Christmas presents. I haven't wanted to tell anyone because people are being super judgemental right now so I've been avoiding Thanksgiving conversations. I feel an urgency to spend time with my parents and really wanted to go to their house and I felt totally fine going and I'm really glad we did. 

It was a nice, calm week with just playing games, eating good food, going for walks (we brought the kids' scooters and that was brilliant), reading, helping mom decorate, playing the piano and watching movies. The kids still did their school work Monday and Tuesday and the girls still attended dance Tuesday night so that is one interesting thing about virtual life; it travels! 

Josh and I went with my parents out to the jewelry story while the kids stayed home with their cousins and that was fun. Josh's dad was watching the store on the camera and saw us--can you say creepy? Thanksgiving we watched the parade and the dog show and had a wonderful dinner of turkey, mashed potatoes, yams and apples, strawberry pretzel jello salad, rolls, corn, and stuffing. We had mom's apple pie, I made the pumpkin pecan and then KayLee made two pumpkin pies. It was delicious and fun. We ended up watching Claus that night, which was a little dark but had a good message. It was a wonderful day and I'm so grateful for my blessings, especially my mom who is such a good cook and is so good at making holidays special. It was just good parental time and the kids loved playing with their cousins and I'm glad I got to see my sister a bit too, though she was working a lot.

We drove home Saturday and it was such an easy drive. We brought food so we only stopped for a quick bathroom/gas break and made great time home. The kids are really good travelers and I'm so grateful. We made it to the Christmas tree farm in plenty of time but we were very disappointed in how short and slim their selection was. Our usual place isn't open this year and we haven't had any luck with any farm we've been too because the trees are all to small and short. We drove by a tree stand on the same road and went to check those out. They were also too short but at least a good shape so we went for it. I am disappointed every time I look at our tree but told myself I couldn't complain about it any more. Just another tick on the long list of ways 2020 has let me down but whatever. Now that it has ornaments and lights on it and the village is done, it does look better. We came home, Josh put it up, I unpacked, we ordered some dinner, he ran to BJs for milk and I cleaned out the fridge because some broccoli in there was stinky.

Sunday was a wonderful sabbath day. We got to go to church and there were a lot of calling changes and it was all wonderful. Our stake president was there and we got to chat for a minute and I really like him. He is so supportive of Josh and is friendly and kind and I really appreciate it. The rest of the day we spent decorating for Christmas and it was nice but it did feel a little weird. I guess I'm not quite in the holiday mood yet. 

Monday I spent all day doing laundry and cleaning and I did a grocery pick up and just tried to get back into the swing of things. Helping the kids with school and managing their schedules can be challenging and this week I have felt kind of trapped. There are things I want to do and need to do and I just feel like I can't live my life right now. I just wanted to go to the post office this morning but my kids only have a one hour break and that just happened to be while I was showering after my gym class. We finally made it at 3pm. I put up the window Christmas lights and did the village yesterday with only a 40 minute setback. My lights went out and it is impossible to find those lights anymore, but Josh fixed the fuse and we are back in business, only down five light bulbs so we have a few dark houses. All that is left is the outside lights and Josh will do those on Saturday. I sent out cards today that I actually addressed two weeks ago and I just realized I forgot to put a return address on any of them. Whoops! I only sent out a few to friends far away and I had to use a picture from last year because we have one family picture from the whole year and it is from the beach.

I have almost all my presents bought and ready to wrap. I mailed all of our family ones yesterday so that felt good and really all that is left is wrapping and baking. Then I am looking forward to movies and driving around looking at Christmas lights. With piano lessons, school, dance and church responsibilities we have been pretty busy and it feels a lot like our normal schedule, except for weekends when this year we have no parties or Christmas concerts or really anything to go and do, which is fine. I have realized I often look at Christmas as a big to-do list and it just feels good to check things off so I don't have to worry about them anymore when I really should try to enjoy them more.

I was feeling like a pretty rotten mother Tuesday night when I logged in to FB at 10pm after my kids were in bed only to see all these posts about giving and donating for the light the world campaign, which I hadn't even looked at yet. How does everyone seem more on top of it all and have so much time to do all these things and plan ahead with their kids that created such wonderful teaching moments? I feel like I am barely hanging on with getting school work done and keeping food in the house and keeping things relatively clean. Maybe it is just because we traveled that I feel behind. I did sit down with the kids yesterday and talk about charities and different ones and what they do with the intention that they would vote for one but they each wanted a different one so I gave a little bit to each. Next year maybe we'll step it up a notch and have them make the money somehow. It just never feels like I'm doing a good enough job teaching my kids to truly celebrate and honor the real meaning of Christmas and ever year when it is over I wonder if it was magical and delicious and fun and meaningful enough. Did everyone like my presents? Did I reach out to everyone I should have reached out to? Are my kids going to be spoiled? Do they appreciate giving? Did we make good memories? 

Okay, that is enough for now. I have had lots of thoughts ruminating so maybe I'll get some of them down soon. Right now I have Curtis playing the trumpet upstairs in my room for his band lesson, Emma is in a math meeting, Brandon is in a math meeting (both in the dining room), Lily is in class upstairs in her room, and I have a piano student arriving in four minutes. It is never dull around here! #joyofvirtuallearningx4

The only picture I've taken in 2 weeks! This kid has lost two teeth this week and one more is really loose