Get Over It

Last year on March 29th I was hoping to deliver a baby.  My other two had been relatively on time so I anticipated number three would be similar.  Eleven days later she finally arrived.  This week as I was thinking of celebrating her first birthday, this swell of frustration overcame me.  Those eleven days were so miserable.  The waiting, the anticipation, the [wonderful] parents who every day asked when she was going to come because we’re only here for two and a half weeks, the discomfort and a great need to just have my body back all contributed to this frustration.  A year later and I can still feel it.

I recently went to the library and as I went to check out my books, a librarian came over to help me.  Inwardly I groaned because it was the mean librarian.  I have dubbed her so because two or three years ago when I had a small toddler and a crawling baby, we had a bit of a run-in that I’ll sum up by saying I was frazzled, she was not very nice about my children and I was annoyed and haven’t liked her since.  When I got to the counter she was kind, greeted my children, and was as polite and helpful as she could be.  I walked out of there confused.  She’s the mean librarian.  Why was she being so nice?  

My four-year-old received a tool set from his aunt for his third birthday that has a wooden bench complete with hammers and screwdrivers and wooden nails and screws.  He also received a brand new bunk bed last year and not days after it was put together, I went in to find that he had taken his new hammer to his new bunk bed and left at least fifty divots all over the wooden rails.  I was livid that he would be so careless with our furniture and the tool set disappeared.  He found it up in his closet just a few days ago and asked me if he could have it back.  I said no.  Why? Because I am still mad about it.  I told him he could have it back when I wasn’t angry every time I saw those divots.   He looked at me with such sincerity and said, “But it was a long time ago.”  

That is when it finally hit me (and yes it took three similar experiences in the matter of a week to get through to me) that I was holding on to a lot of negativity and the thought came to me, “Get over it.”  Time to move on and let the bitterness go.  It is time to stop complaining about the fact that instead of celebrating a first birthday today we are waiting 11 more days.  It is time to lift my life-time judgement of the librarian and consider that perhaps she is a nice librarian who was having a bad day.  Even if she is a mean librarian who was having a nice day it doesn’t matter.  I don’t have to avoid her because of one interaction that was negative.  It is time to forgive my sweet boy and give him another chance with his tools.  

There is so much in life that is challenging and yet our own bad attitudes or quick judgements or bitterness can add to that burden unnecessarily.  Clutching to anger, frustration, or contempt is only an attempt to justify our bad feelings when what we should be doing is accepting the situation for what it is or was and then moving on.  While some situations require a lot more healing or forgiveness, there are plenty of these silly life happenings that are what they are and the best response we can have is to get over it.