Dancing with Daffodils

There are so many problems and heartache in this world. My mission president and his wife once told a group of us missionaries that they often prayed in gratitude for all of the problems they didn't have. This week I have felt humbled by the circumstances of so many and it certainly makes me grateful for my very normal and simple life. I could look at those with lots of money and think how fun it would be to travel more and honestly, sometimes I do, but today I am grateful that I don't have to worry about where I am going to sleep tonight or what I am going to feed my family. I don't have to stress about clothing or how to get around or if my kids are safe playing outside. I don't have to worry about their behavior at school or their health. I am not in a hospital being treated for a terrible disease and I am not in chronic pain. I am not concerned that when my husband gets home he is going to hurt me or be unkind to me in any way. I don't have to worry about subs...

My husband has now been the bishop of our congregation for six months and thirteen days. People have just barely stopped asking me what it is like to be a bishop's wife and I don't think I have ever answered the question well because it is a complicated response. First off, it is challenging, and more so than I expected it to be. Perhaps pridefully, I thought when he got called that I was totally ready for this challenge and could handle it. My dad was a bishop and stake president from the time I can remember until I was in high school and my mom never complained or seemed bothered about him being gone so much. I figured I could easily follow her good example and do the same. I am now more humble in realizing that I can't handle the increased burden of parenthood on my own well. It isn't even just the physicality of getting them where they need to go but also the emotional stress of being the only one who is there to handle all disputes, break downs, complaining and m...

It has been awhile. I have been too busy reading and cleaning my house from the wonderful mess that is summer. I have been organizing a space almost every weekday and it has made me so happy to have a clean laundry room again and an organized shoe closet and I even cleaned out my freezer. I am half way on my list but decided today to take a break and do some writing. I have been thinking a lot about feelings lately. A month or so ago I had an interaction with a good friend that left me feeling hurt and left out and unappreciated or even liked. For days I thought about it and it bothered me. I wasn't super friendly when I saw her because I was allowing my hurt feelings to let me step back from the relationship. As a kid I was always accused of being too sensitive so I have worked hard as an adult to not stew or stress about every interaction I have. I think I've done a good job learning to let go of these kinds of situations and move on and I can usually do that, but this time...

Today is my birthday. The past few days I've been feeling sad and like a birthday these days is less exciting than as a kid or young adult. The magic and wonder of what could happen on your birthday or what surprise might happen or what friend might remember you is kind of over. I just wanted my kids not to fight or cry today and if they had cleaned their rooms up I might have considered it a birthday miracle! But why set yourself up for disappointment just because it is the day you were born? These expectations that everyone is going to be nice to you and make you feel loved and special can easily lead to disappointment so I was having a hard time getting excited about today. The day, however, started off that I woke up when my body wanted to, which was 8:40 a.m. Woot woot! I love that! Then a note was slid under my door saying that I could sleep for 20 more minutes (which meant my kids were up to something!). I took a shower and then went to get my kids, who covered me with hug...

This past week my daughter was officially invited to her first sleepover. As parents, we had decided years ago that our kids just weren't going to do sleepovers. The only exception has been when we go away for a night and they all stay at a friend's house while we are gone, or when we watch kids for friends for the same reason. So this was the first time we had to say no thank you to an invitation and it was a learning experience. Years ago a church leader was speaking in our general church conference and said that a lot of kids are introduced to things such as drugs, alcohol and pornography at sleepovers. He warned parents to be courageous in protecting our children by being prayerful and willing to say no when we are uneasy about activities, especially overnight ones. This was a true experience for my husband who went to a sleepover and found that his friends had changed from 8th grade to 9th and decided to drink alcohol. He spent the entire night afraid to go to sleep, sit...

I set a goal to read 35 books this year, after I successfully read 30 last year and felt the need to step up my game. I have read 17 books, so I am about halfway there, although more than halfway through the year so I am looking forward to catching up during the fall time when the kids go back to school. But here is my first 17 reads of 2018. 1. Victoria by Daisy Goodwin. Fantastic book! I absolutely loved this one although it is right up my alley of English historical fiction, but it is well-written and interesting and it was a great way to start the year. 2. Of Mess and Moxie by Jen Hatmaker. I have some friends that just love her and I liked her but am not quite drinking her kool aid. It was an easy, uplifting read and I enjoyed it but it felt a bit fluffy to me. Good book, just didn't wow me. 3. A Northern Light by Jennifer Donnelly. This takes place in the Adirondacks and is full of good characters, heart and mystery. I was really into it and it was a refreshing change f...

Sometimes it is just hard to be a grown up. There is something about summer that makes me yearn for the simpler days of my childhood. I drove nine hours last week to visit my parents and while I was driving I couldn’t help but be slightly envious of my kids sitting in the back of the car, reading and playing with toys. That used to be me. Since I am the youngest, all our years of road tripping across the country meant all my sisters would take turns driving but I was never old enough. I got to sit in the back and read, listen to my walkman, watch out the window, sleep or do whatever I wanted for 36 hours. That sure beats sitting in traffic, getting cut off by a red BMW, being rerouted onto sketchy streets because of traffic and trying to find a Wendys before your kids get too hangry. My kids always wonder why dad doesn’t have a summer break. Every day for the first week of vacation they ask where is dad and they’re so confused when I explain how he still has to go to work. Wouldn’t...