Random Thoughts

Last week was the year anniversary from when I started my blog.  I appreciate those who take the time to read my posts and for the incentive that has given me to continue practicing my writing.

I haven’t written much lately because I am pregnant and expecting child number four in January.  This means that even though I’ve had some really good ideas that I tried to write about, they didn’t come out very coherently and also that I’ve spent most of my afternoons napping instead of writing.  

So this post is going to be a random assortment of thoughts that didn’t quite get fleshed out into their own posts.  

1.  President Obama said something recently that really bothered me and so forgive this short, political rant.  President Obama recently signed a bill that “strengthened” the Equal Pay Act, which is supposed to eliminate all gender-biased pay in the workplace.  I think he is completely right in the fact that women and men doing the exact same job with the exact same experience and the exact same education should be receiving the same pay.  However, he also had the nerve to say that women who weren’t working or earning a wage were not contributing to society.  In effect, he thinks I would be a more valuable member of society if I went to Target and stocked shelves for $10 an hour because at least then I would be making money, instead of staying in the home and raising my family.

I take great offense to this.  I do not criticize women who choose to work instead of taking care of their children (and acknowledge a great many single mothers who have no choice) and if women choose to work then they should be paid equally as long as they are as qualified and as experienced, but certainly the same respect should be expected in return to me.  I choose to stay home and raise my children.  I clothe and feed them, I keep our home clean and safe place for them to be, I am thrifty on one salary and have to leave within my means, I teach them to read and play well with others and to be kind and helpful, I am here for them 100 percent and hope that in so doing, they will be stable, happy, educated, and productive adults in the future.  I don’t trust anyone else to do as good of a job as I will.  These kids are mine and no day care staff is going to teach them what I believe they need to know.  Yet somehow, daycare staff members are more productive members of the society, according to the president, even though they are doing exactly what I am doing for other people’s children.  

2.  I was at the park the other day and overheard two moms talking.  They were talking about a mutual friend who was pregnant with her third child and how this friend was remodeling the basement in order to hire an au pair.   One of the ladies said, “Well, she makes hundreds of thousands of dollars so why would she quit working?”  Then the other responded with, “Yeah, if you don’t work, then you never get any time to yourself and that would drive me crazy.”  

I have to admit that this conversation made me really sad.  I know I am in the traditional minority here but I believe that children are worth more than thousands of dollars and they deserve their parents best efforts and time.  It also exemplifies selfishness, which plagues the current generation of parents with young children.   

Now I’m not criticizing those who need to work because of special family circumstances, nor even those who choose to work just because they like it.  All I’m trying to say is that the respect should go both ways.  I don’t stay home because we’re so rich that I don’t need to work.  I’m lucky that my husband has a good job and with sacrifice, careful planning and thriftiness, we are able to live comfortably on one salary but that doesn’t mean my life wouldn’t be a lot more cushy with two salaries coming in.  I also don’t stay home because I’m lazy and don’t like to work hard.  I am college educated and before I had children I did work outside the home and did well at my job.  

I stay home because I believe that God sent me a very special responsibility when he entrusted me with three children.  These precious souls came to our family and deserve all of the love, time, care, and energy I can give them.  Taking care of them and making our home a place of comfort, happiness, love and safety is the best use of my time, despite the fact that I’m not making any money.  

I just love my children and feel so blessed that I get to spend all day with them.  Yes, it is a challenge most days and I certainly enjoy the times I get a break, but I wouldn’t trade this time in my life for any career or amount of money.  I haven’t missed a single important moment with my children and when they grow up into educated, productive and contributing members of society I hope they look back and realize that it is because they were raised in a loving home, with devoted but not over-indulgent parents, who had their priorities straight.

3.  I was recently asked to serve in our church’s youth organization, helping out the young women ages 14-15.  I oversee the lessons on Sunday and our weekly activities.  It is a fun new adventure and has got me thinking a lot about the last time I has this opportunity.  When we lived in California, I was asked to be in charge of the young women’s organization in our local congregation.  I had lived there all of three weeks and hardly knew anyone.  To say it was a challenge is an understatement but I know that God is aware of each of us and that responsibility was exactly what I needed that year.

I had been hoping to get pregnant for two years by the time we moved to California.  I had done some minor fertility treatments but once my husband graduated from college and I quit my job to move, I put my efforts 100 percent into starting our family.  I did some freelance writing for a local newspaper but really my life for that year was fertility treatments with a doctor who was an hour away and these young women at church.  I was over the girls ages 16-17 and they became my surrogate daughters.  I saw them every Sunday, every Wednesday and often had them over for dinners, parties, or I would take them out for a special treat on a one-by-one basis.  I had the time to devote to them and I did and in return the sorrows and struggles of starting our family was diminished.  That responsibility and those girls filled a great void in my life, gave me purpose and made that year meaningful.  

One sweet girl and I shared a special affinity for Disneyland and we would go together sometimes.  At one point I found out I was pregnant but I ended up miscarrying and having to have a D&C.  By the time I was better, my annual pass to Disneyland had expired and we were about to move and had no extra money.  I was so disappointed that I hadn’t been able to ride any of the rides during my last visit and this sweet girl and her family were so generous and took me to Disneyland for one last day before we moved.  I will never forget the kindness, generosity and love that they showed me.  These girls are grown up now and many are married with children and they will never have any idea how much they blessed my life.  I’m grateful to God for knowing that I needed a special work to do and entrusting me to care for some wonderful and special girls who still fill my heart with great love every time I think about them.