It takes a village

A few weeks ago my 19-year-old nephew left to serve a two-year mission for our church in Bogota, Colombia.  We got to hear his talk in church on his last Sunday before leaving and the room was full of family members, friends, and church members who were there to support him in his good decision.

My nephew with his mission president in Colombia

My nephew is a good-hearted kid and we've always been close.  When he was just learning to talk I had him convinced my name was “favorite aunty ‘lecia”.   He has always had a natural desire to do the right thing and that was increased upon the tragic death of his father when he was 12.  

My grandfather died when my dad was only six months old so he too grew up without a father.  He has said that God has made up the difference.  Men have been placed in his life at key moments to play a special role and my father promised my nephews the same thing in their lives.  On that Sunday before my nephew left for his mission, we were able to hear from one of those men who talked about what a good kid my nephew is and in some measure how he got to be that way.

This good man was bishop of the ward or local congregation when my brother-in-law passed away and he spent that first night helping my nephew get to sleep.  He was a great support to my sister and earned our whole family’s appreciation and gratitude for his kindness and watch care.  He spoke about when my brother-in-law died, how many people stepped up and worked together to help take care of my nephews.  They were the embodiment of the phrase “it takes a village to raise a child”.  My brother-in-law had been in the process of building a play set, which members of the ward finished.  Church leaders in the youth program stepped up to take the kids camping, a good man was called to be a home teaching companion to my nephew and taught him how to be a servant of the Lord, and many others set a good example of leadership and fatherhood.  That village can feel good about how it helped raise my nephew.

I feel this in my own life as a mother.  It takes a village not only to raise a child but to keep a mother sane.  I am grateful for the good friends I have who watch my kids during doctor appointments, teach them in their classes at church and who help me figure out tough parenting challenges.  I know my kids are safe in our neighborhood because even if I’m busy with our baby inside, my neighbors care about my kids too and will watch out for them if needed. 

I also know I can’t possibly teach my children everything worth knowing.  I don’t like soccer but my neighbor coaches it and I can put my son on her team and she can teach him.  I rely on teachers at church to reinforce what is taught here at home and to do it in a different style so hopefully it all sinks in.  My friend enjoys doing crafts (not me!) and she has fun art supplies in her house that my daughter loves to use.  My children benefit from their interaction with other caring adults.

Parenting can be a lonely job but I don’t think it should be.  In our society where families are often spread throughout the country, we have to form our own villages either through neighborhoods, church groups or just a great group of friends.  We need to help and support each other because if we want to raise great kids like my nephew, then it truly does take a village.