The best of times, the worst of times
I cried most of Wednesday. I tried to go to the gym to work out but half way through the class I gave up because I just wasn't concentrating and I didn't want to hurt myself. I tried to figure out a way to get to the funeral, which was Friday, but we were scheduled to leave that day for our spring break. They needed to have it quickly so Bradley could get back to West Point, plus it was conference weekend. Tickets were crazy expensive and I was having a hard time figuring out how I could reconnect with my family. Plus it meant Josh would have to totally pack us up for our trip and I knew he was way too busy to do that so in the end I didn't go. I felt so conflicted all Wednesday and even Thursday while I was doing laundry and packing and getting ready to go. Friday we left around 9:30 am and started our drive to Savannah. We watched Greg's funeral in the car and it was nice but did cast a sad vibe over our trip. I thought a lot about my funeral and what it might look like and who might come. My kids weren't super close to Greg because they live in SLC so we have seen them the last two summers but before that it was years. Greg was also a pretty quiet guy and didn't interact a lot with our family when we were together so our grief was more for Cindy and the kids, all of whom were super close to their dad. Josh and Greg were good buddies though and I've known him since I was a teenager and we were definitely closer back in those days so we are all going to miss him. She is living my worst nightmare and I would just get overwhelmed with sadness any time I thought of things she was going to have to deal with. But Cindy is very independent and capable and a wonderful mother. She is strong and faithful and she will be all right. I hadn't been able to talk to her at all though and I know she was surrounded by people and overwhelmed so I understood, but I also had so many questions and felt so disconnected. I was distracted all weekend and tried really hard to relax and enjoy our trip but it really wasn't until Monday night when I got to talk to KayLee that I felt better. She answered a lot of my questions and helped me feel better about not being there that weekend. I actually bought a ticket last night to go out and visit Cindy soon. I have no idea how my family is going to manage without me and then Josh leaves right after I get back for three weeks so the next six weeks are going to be interesting but I am glad I get to go be a support to my sister. Cindy and I are the most alike and I've always looked up to her. It is so hard to watch another sister go through this though. Debbie lost her husband 17 years ago this May and her kids were a lot younger but it is just so sad that this has happened twice in our family now.
That was the worst of times. Now for the best. I spoke at the youth activity about how Christ strengthened me on my mission and that was fun. I think every missionary loves to talk about their mission but it has been a long time since I've had the opportunity so I enjoyed thinking about it and pondering and then sharing.
Our spring break trip was wonderful. Friday we had an easy drive to Savannah and then we got dinner and stayed in a hotel that night. Getting Josh's 10-foot paddle board up the stairs and into the room was fun. Saturday morning we went into Savannah but there was a race going on and it was so hard to get around with so many runners and roads blocked off so we left. It is such a cool city though and Josh and I have plans to go back. We had another easy drive and got to our beach house right around check in time. We unpacked the car and immediately went down to the beach. It was so beautiful and sunny with perfect waves. It stays shallow for awhile so it was easy for the younger kids to swim and have fun in the waves too. We saw huge cruise ships leaving the port and with the palm trees everywhere, I was ready to move in. We got pizza for dinner and Josh and I went to the grocery store and we were set. We listened to a session of conference in the car and then watched the evening one. It was all so good, although I was still feeling very heavy-hearted and had a harder time focusing. Sunday we got up early and went to the beach all morning then came back to watch conference and have brunch. We went back in between sessions then back for the afternoon one and dinner. We also watched some of the Saturday afternoon one that we had missed and finished it in pieces over the week. I am grateful for a prophet and leaders who teach and direct us.
Monday was cloudy but we still spent all day at the beach. I love how the kids just play and need very little from me. We can swim together, they play in the sand, the boys would play baseball or football, Curtis learned how to skim board, Josh would be out surfing on the paddle board, Lily and I read some, Josh and I went for a walk one day and everyone was just happy. We stayed six plus hours every day on the beach then we would go back and shower and I would make dinner and we ate outside every night. It was dreamy. We did go Monday in the late afternoon to Ron Jon's Surf Shop (so crowded) and then Surf Style (much better) for some beach t-shirts. With our later dinners, after ice cream and scripture study, it was Emma and Brandon's bed time then the older two would stay up and watch a Marvel movie. They are watching them all in order so I have seen bits and pieces of a few different movies when it lines up that I can watch some with them. I saw about 30 minutes of Black Widow and then most of Black Panther and a few minutes of Civil War. It is a fun thing for them to do together and to be the big kids; I love when they are buddies. We did watch a lot of Harry Potter too. We watched half of the first one one night and finished it the next, then they watched the second one in the car driving to and from Universal.
But first on Tuesday we had a perfect beach day. I was feeling at peace, the weather was warm and sunny and beautiful, the ocean was great, and we had friends join us for the day. Michelle and her girls drove the two hours from her dad's house to play with us on the beach all day. It was so fun to talk and catch up but also to be out in the water jumping waves and playing with our kids.
Then Wednesday we went to Universal. It was a big part of Emma's birthday celebration to go spend a day doing all of the Harry Potter stuff. We didn't tell the kids until we were driving through Georgia on Saturday so they had time to be excited and look forward to it while still being a surprise. We got up early and we were in the park before it opened at 9am. We went straight to Escape from Gringotts and only waited in line 25 minutes. Then we walked around Diagon Alley and Knockturn Alley and looked in all the stores and got our first cups of butterbeer before we decided to take the train and head over to the other park. We had lunch at the Three Broomsticks (where we finally caught up with the Rays for a minute) and got in line for Hagrid's Motorbikes. It said it was a two hour wait but we only waited for an hour and twenty minutes so that was good. I love that ride so much. My kids weren't so sure about it and I did hold Brandon's arm the whole time so I would have liked to have gone on it again by myself or with Curtis or Josh but there wasn't time. It was thrilling and fun and I love it.
Then we went to the castle and Josh, Lily and Curtis just went in the single rider line while I waited with Emma and Brandon in the gift shop. Then Josh and Curtis went to ride the Velocicoaster while I took the other kids to chill out a bit in the Dr. Seuss area. Then we met up with the Rays to do the Hippogriff. It was a long wait but we were with friends so it was okay (and I am choosing not to rant about the rich express pass people who slow the lines down). Then Kori and her boys met up with us and we all had dinner together. It was so fun. I love my friends and love connecting with them and having a fun shared experience. Josh and some kids went to do Transformers, I took Emma to see the wand experience with Kori and then we all met up again for ice cream. After that Michelle left and Kori left and we took the train back to Islands of Adventure to walk through the castle. The line was 10 minutes so we just walked right through and then Josh and Curtis rode it again. We saw the light show and shut down the park. We walked to the front and got a few things at the gift shop and got back to the car about 10pm. It was a late night after a long and very fun day. Everybody loved the butterbeer and we got some fudge and a chocolate frog to bring home. We did everything Harry Potter and Josh and Curtis loved the velocicoaster so it was a very successful day. I would have been happy to do a few more rides but my kids aren't quite up for those more thrilling rides yet so we stuck to HP and had a great day. The lines were pretty long too and we didn't have a grandpa with us to get us in the shorter line like Michelle did, although she did offer to let us borrow him. :) It was wonderful to see friends and be with friends and reconnect and drink buterbeer and Emma especially enjoyed the wonder and magic of it all so that made me happy.
Thursday was another perfect beach day. It was so beautiful and we stayed until after 6pm. That night there was a rocket launch at 12:30 am. Josh woke Curtis up and they went to a park a few miles away to watch it. I just sat on our balcony and had a good view. It was pretty cool to see! Friday the beach got hit with sargassum and it made the beach less fun. There was just sea grass everywhere so it made it hard to swim and hard to play on the firmer part of the sand and it was really hard for me not to want to clean it all up. We made the most of it and still had a good time but I was so grateful that it didn't happen until our last day. I read a news article and the whole space coast is covered in it now and probably will be all summer so we were very blessed. We also had great weather the whole week; another wonderful blessing. We had dinner and got packed up and left at 7am Saturday morning. It was a super long drive home thanks to traffic in SC and rain in NC. We pulled in about 10:20 pm but the kids were so good and I drove quite a bit so Josh could sleep and get some church stuff done and talk to his family on the phone. It was his birthday so we stopped at Buccees to get some breakfast sandwiches and cinnamon rolls then we had Wendys for dinner but that was about as exciting as it got. He already got his present (a new TV) a few weeks ago so all that is left is to have dinner at Nicoletti's sometime and his treat.
Sunday was Easter and I had to be there early to run through a special number and then we had some special prelude that I had to organize. It all went well and was good, which was a huge relief because it had been very difficult to get people together to rehearse and I hadn't played the piano all week. Michelle gave an amazing talk and while none of the people I invited came, I felt good knowing I had been brave and invited four families. It was also Emma's 10th birthday so we came home and I made her cake, Lily made cupcakes for Easter dinner, we dyed eggs, Emma opened her presents and then we had her cake, then we went to the Wiests for dinner, which was super nice. We are having her birthday dinner request this Sunday and also doing our egg hunt and then finally I think we'll be done celebrating two birthdays and Easter.
Monday we had off but I was so busy grocery shopping, doing laundry and teaching piano lessons then we went to Curtis's first baseball game of the season. He played so well and it was amazing! He played first base and then pitched and at one point had a great catch off of the batter and then a double play. All the parents after the game knew his name and were telling him how great he played. It was super nice.
I feel very anxious about how things are going to work out between now and the end of May but I just keep trying to take deep breaths and trust that everything will get taken care of one way or another. Life is a blessing and each day a gift.
I'm so sorry for your loss. It must be so hard to have your sister so far away when she is suffering such a terrible loss.
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