Dancing with Daffodils

My husband and I started dating in the late fall of our senior year of high school. I broke up with him in March because I felt like we weren't good enough friends. I told him I needed the cake to go with the frosting and things seemed a bit too serious to me and not fun enough. But then we started hanging out as friends and things were more relaxed and wouldn't you know it by July I was in love with him. But by then we had graduated high school and my parents were moving across the country and I was headed to college far away from where he would be. In my head I thought, well, we have three weeks before I leave so we'll make the most of it and then we'll just part ways. I was wrong. I remember laying on the floor of the apartment my parents were living in while their house was being finished in Idaho and just crying on the phone with him, just days after I had left. He kept saying that we had been blessed with a wonderful relationship and he just didn't think we ...

Last week was a dark and heavy week for me; not my usual "dancing with daffodils" kind of moment that I want to record but there is something I want to remember from last week. My sister texted me 10 days ago to tell me that her doctor had found an abnormal mass in her breast and that they were testing it. She asked us to pray for her, which we did. Monday we found out it was malignant and she had to wait until Friday to have an MRI done to see if the cancer had spread to her lymph nodes. All last week this information weighed on me. I was consumed with worry and sadness and felt like tar was running through my body instead of blood. My heart literally felt heavy to me and dark. I also had a friend get hurt by some really unkind words and then later in the week my daughter was upset about an incident at school when a kid in her class was rough with her for no reason. It sounds dramatic now but in the moment it felt like everyone I loved was being attacked and it crushed me....

Earlier this week marked a couple of anniversaries for me. The first was that it has now been 14 years since I've returned home from serving a mission for my church in Kiev, Ukraine. I remember that crazy last day where my two best friends and companions and I went to say goodbye to some of our favorite people. One of our quick stops was to see a family I was very close to and the father had made us beautiful wooden plant stands. They were gorgeous and are still floating around somewhere in Kiev because we were not allowed to bring them on the plane. I was heartbroken and when I went back to visit a few years later I told him the sad tale and he just handed me one from their home. It wasn't nearly as beautiful as the one that he had previously made me but I made sure to get it home this time and it still stands in my dining room as a wonderful reminder of my Ukrainian family. Lots of missionaries are kind of nervous to come home because there are big decisions to make and rea...

I am not one to do crazy things. I am very afraid of pain and so avoid anything dangerous where bodily harm is likely, such as skiing. I did try mountain biking once but ended up walking my bike down the mountain because riding down a dirt path with rocks and trees in the way seemed a little iffy. I like to plan and organize and while I love surprises, I also like to be prepared. So it was quite surprising to my mom when I called her from the Chicago airport in June 2000 and told her the changes to my plan. I had been in London on study abroad from January to April and then done a two-month term at BYU in Provo, Utah. It had been six long months since I had seen Josh and while I was in London, it had even been hard to talk to him very much because of the prohibitively expensive long distance phone rates, as well as the fact that I was sharing one phone with forty other students. I was so anxious to see him and was thrilled to get on a plane headed to Rochester as soon as my last fina...

I went to story time with my kids last week and the theme was favorite things. While they talked about favorite foods and colors and animals, it got me thinking about my favorites and what really makes me happy. So pretend you just opened up your favorite magazine, of which I am of course the editor-in-chief, and here is my list of favorite things I think you should check out. 1. Joanie Leeds and the Nightlights. A few years ago I was teaching my co-op preschool kids about the zoo and I got a CD out of the library called What A Zoo by Joanie Leeds and the Nightlights. I liked it so much that I brought it on a road trip with us and miracle of miracles, my husband liked it too. Here's why: She considers herself a rock star and even though she's singing songs for kids, they sound like real music. They are catchy tunes and clever lyrics and fun to sing along to, whether you are a kid or adult. I'm wondering if I should be ashamed to admit this or not but I really do love her ...

As I was watching my recorded Golden Globes last night, I was blown away by Ryan Gosling's speech after winning in the best actor category. He was gracious and thanked his co-stars and the director and mentioned how every actor stands on the shoulders of lots of wonderful people who help them achieve great performances. Then he thanked "my lady" (who is Eva Mendes). He said while he was off singing and dancing, she took on the responsibility of raising their daughter while she was pregnant with number two and also helping her brother in his battle with cancer. He said that if she hadn't been able to deal with all of that, that someone else would be standing on the stage right then. I love this as a wonderful example of how a relationship, and especially a marriage, should be. Husband and wife have different roles and responsibilities and it is in doing our very best in our part that we help each other succeed. I certainly wouldn't have the ability to manage our ...

12. The Mourning Dove by Larry Barkdull. This is a really short book we read for book club and it is the story of a boy who goes to live with his grandfather when his parents die. It was sad and I felt like the author wrote the story around the advice and teachings he wanted the grandfather to pass on to his grandson. It was fine; not my favorite but there are some nice ideas in it. 13. Under a Painted Sky by Stacy Lee. This is the story of a girl who lives in Missouri back in the frontier days when Missouri is the edge of the wilderness. In an attempt to avoid a man attacking her she ends up killing him and running west to avoid the law. I liked the story and appreciated that it had some suspense to it. It has good characters and it is also a bit sad but it worked out and was a good book. 14. Princess of the Midnight Ball by Jessica Day George. This is a re-telling of the 12 Dancing Princesses and it was okay. I liked the characters but already knowing the story kind of ruined i...